Chapter 12

Light crept into her vision, and for once, she woke slowly--unusually so. The absence of panic felt foreign--wrong, even. She wasn't used to waking without her heart already racing. Her hand instinctively searched for Idris--only to meet empty space. Her stomach twisted, heart lurching into her throat as she bolted upright, scanning the room. Her head snapped toward the door as it slid open. Idris stepped inside, already dressed, balancing a tray in one hand. She fought down the adrenaline surge and tried to distance herself from her still racing heart. She forced a smile, masking the lingering panic clawing at her chest as she sat up, feigning ease. Her brow lifted as her gaze landed on him--on the uniform. "What--" Her brow furrowed. "What are you wearing?"

He smiled at her as he set the tray down on the bed. There were two covered meals on the tray. Then he pulled at the tunic of his uniform and feigned misunderstanding. "This? This is nothing, just some new clothes."

"Apparently even newer than what you were wearing yesterday." She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "I'm not sure I like that better though. Why are you wearing that?"

He just shrugged, offering no answer.

She gave him a stern look at his refusal, but then her attention was drawn to the food. Her stomach twisted at the sight of real food. She barely had the lid off before she tore into it with her hands.

Idris leaned back slightly, blinking at her enthusiasm before chuckling. "Didn't realize I needed to bring reinforcements."

She paused, meeting his gaze for a moment before focusing back on the food. Ignoring the flicker of self-consciousness, she tore off another bite, choosing to prioritize hunger over manners. She couldn't help it. She had never had food this good before, and her appetite seemed to sneak up on her as she satiated herself.

Idris took the other plate and sat down next to her, the plate in his lap as he lifted the lid and put it on the bed next to him. He ate slowly, almost fastidiously, until he noticed she had finished eating.

She set the plate down carefully, as if that might make up for inhaling the meal. Now, with nothing else to do, she found herself watching him eat.

"So... what now?"

"You're asking me?"

"I thought you might have an opinion."

"Well, I thought we were just waiting for them to fix your ship."

A soft chime sounded from the door, pulling Brynn's attention away from whatever half-thought had been drifting in her mind.

That was new.

Up until now, doors simply slid open unannounced, whether Captain Johansen or Aria, never bothering with permission. It never occurred to her that people could request entry instead of simply taking it.

She exchanged a glance with Idris before pushing herself up to answer.

The door slid open, revealing the same officer they'd encountered on the deck. Commander... Davis? Something starting with a "D." The man who had kissed her hand like she was some lofty aristocrat or something, as opposed to some kind of urchin living out of the garbage.

As the door slid open, he greeted them with an easy, well-rehearsed smile. But when his gaze landed on Idris, something flickered--an almost imperceptible shift.

"Ah, good. You're both still here," he said.

Idris smiled back. "Yep, still just weathering all the awful perks the delegate quarters have to offer us. What can I do for you, Commander Darren?"

Right. That was his name. At least she'd been close.

He shrugged and looked over Idris' shoulder in a question. Idris and Brynn both moved to let him pass, and as the door slid shut behind him, he stood in front of the in the middle of the room.

"I was in the neighborhood and thought I would stop by to give you an update. Everything is going smoothly, I even got the weapons we talked about. Attulanta should be up to spec in two or three days. You'll be able to drop off long before Avenger we get back to the capital."

Brynn stole a glance at Idris. A few days. Then what?

Idris obviously wasn't thinking about it. "That's great! Thanks for your help on that. I'd been trying to get the upgrades through the civi sector, but having the right connections has its benefits, I guess."

"And having friends in low places never hurts either."

Idris laughed naturally and shook his head. "No, it doesn't."

"I'm just glad I could put them to use instead of melting them down again. Anyway, I'll let you get back to roughing it and send word when I have something more."

"Sounds fine. We'll wait as fast as we can in the meantime."

The door closed as Darren left them alone again, and Brynn felt her heart racing. She'd spent a long time not having a plan more complicated than "I don't know, I am making this up as I go along," so the looming future shouldn't have been weighing down on her like a space rock. Why was she so worked up about it? Maybe it was because before, she'd at least had something special to help her stay alive, and now she didn't even have that.

Idris caught her pensive look and touched her shoulder. The sudden contact snapped her out of her spiraling thoughts, making her jolt in surprise. Idris held up his hands in surprise and surrender. "Whoa, what's wrong? I thought you'd want to get out of here."

"I did too. It's not that I don't like all the comforts this place has offered us, but I guess I am just a little edgy because I hadn't thought past what was going to happen after we got off this ship and back to Attulanta."

"Well, yeah, neither of us had. Did you want to try to figure it out now?"

She looked at the floor and shook her head. "No, not really. I guess not. I don't know..."

He huffed a laugh at that, and shook his head. "It's not like we need to know right away, and it's not like I am going to drop you somewhere dangerous, or turn you over to someone who can't help you. There's nothing to worry about."

She looked up at him and he could see the real fear in her eyes. "That's not true. Before, I could take care of myself. And if something happened, then... I could just..." Her voice trailed off and Idris' face fell for the first time.

"You could just use your Gift and find a way out?"

She hesitated, but nodded. "Look, I know it's not your fault that... that that... that lady, that monster, that she did this to me..."

Idris' reaction, his expression, made it quite clear that he did not agree with her assessment, but he remained silent.

"But now I have to face the fact that I don't know the first thing about taking care of myself without it."

His shoulders slumped and he nodded. "Well, we have a few options about what we can do about that part. I am sure that I could find the support you need, even if it is not from me."

She sighed, tension still coiled tight in her chest. Her gaze flicked to his face before she stepped closer--then, before she could second-guess it, she pressed against him, arms wrapping around his waist.

Idris' hands flew up, not touching her at first, but then he let out his breath and wrapped his arms around her, embracing her tightly. As his head rested on her hair, he felt her sobbing into his chest. He had yet to be this close to her, close enough to smell her hair or feel how warm she was.

Then her arms loosened and he immediately let her go. She dropped her arms to her sides, looking down at his chest. She sniffled a little, and then took a deep breath. "Sorry. I am not sure why I did that. I should probably ask your permission before I invade your space like that again."

Idris found himself at a total loss about what to say to that. He didn't even let himself nod in agreement.

"I'm going to throw some water on my face and try to calm down."

She turned abruptly and walked through door to the shower room.

Idris was left to stand there, feeling like little more than a dumb idiot, his mind reeling about what to say in a way he had never felt before. He covered his mouth with his hand and shook his head.

After that, they spent the days mostly resting and eating food that tastes way too expensive for Brynn's liking. At least at first. Brynn talked about other incidences she had had where someone had tried to molest her in some way, or exploit her circumstances. Idris found himself mostly just listening, allowing her the space to have someone to talk to, without sharing much in the way of his own personal pain or trauma.

Brynn was still getting used to it--no sleeping in cramped closets, no chewing through stale ration bars between panicked glances over her shoulder. Real food that she didn't have to share or even worry about being hot. A warm bed she didn't have to fight for.

And then there was Idris--somehow both easy company and a constant source of frustration. He had a gift for finding her buttons and pushing them until she felt one of her eyes might pop out of her head. She learned he had the most neurotic tendency towards manners, and never met a meal he could bring himself to complain about even once. And he had that annoying habit of dodging serious topics with humor, or intentionally misunderstanding the simplest of questions in a way that she wanted to grab him by the ear and yell it into his head.

Then one day, someone brought a hard copy to Idris, informing him that everything was ready. Brynn realized she wasn't sure what to feel. They gathered what little they had and headed down to the flight deck where they'd been holding Attulanta.

On the bright side, at least now she would be able to see Ophelia again. Her childlike, deceptively innocent personality, and lilting voice, was definitely something she was looking forward to again. Brynn exhaled, as if waiting for the weight of reality to settle back onto her shoulders.

As they were walking up the ramp, she spared a glance backward, and then walked ahead of Idris. But then the sirens sounded. The sirens howled to life, sharp and urgent. Brynn flinched, her breath catching as chaos erupted around her.

The flight deck immediately devolved into utter pandemonium, and Idris dropped his things at the top of the ramp, running down to the bottom of the ramp. He just so happen to spot Darren and caught up to him.

Brynn watched from a distance, unable to hear, but Idris' body language was unmistakable--heated, insistent. Darren rolled his eyes before finally relenting, gesturing toward something far off. Idris took off without hesitation.

Brynn threw her things next to Idris' and then ran to catch up with Idris until she was out of breath. She couldn't see where he'd gone, so she turned and ran to find the only other person she could recognize.

When she caught up to him, she was struggling not to bend over with her hands on her knees, but caught enough breath to ask where he had sent Idris.

"He demanded I let him take a spare to launch with the other pilots."

Her head snapped back away from him. "What?! Launch...to where? But..."

"We just dropped out of antispace to cool our heels and ran into some kind of raid. We're under attack, so they re scrambling everyone to respond."

Brynn went rigid, a cold dread settling in her stomach. The air around her felt suddenly too thin, as if the entire ship had exhaled at once.

The color drained from Brynn's face. The air around her suddenly felt too thin, the warmth leeching from her skin as if the ship itself had turned cold.

"I am sure he would have told you, but there wasn't time. Why don't you come with me?"

"Where?" she asked, but even as she did, she was already moving.

Darren smirked, his gaze sharp but not unkind. "If you're going to drive yourself crazy, might as well do it with a front-row seat."

That didn't sound better. But maybe, in this moment, nothing would.