Christmas and Ma Law from Hell Ch. 01

Christmas with the Mother-in-Law from Hell

Spending the festive period with the mother-in-law from hell, who dislikes you immensely as you have corrupted her son (we live together), and strictly enforces a no shenanigans (no kissing, no touching and no sex!) rule while you are in her house... Which of course means we have to get inventive!

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CHAPTER 1

I call her Ma Law for short just not to her face obviously, because she would so not approve of me calling her Ma but she certainly does lay down the law!

So this year we are off to Ma Laws for Christmas... We alternate between his mum and my mum every year, although Ma Law would be so much happier if I spent every Christmas with my family and her beautiful boy spent every Christmas with her, and yes she really does call him her beautiful boy even though he has begged her a million billion trillion times not to!

Me and the beautiful boy have been together for over 10 years now, and living in sin (her description) for 8 of those, so you would think she would have accepted me by now but you would be very wrong!

For the first couple of years I used to get upset when she criticised absolutely everything about me, and I mean everything - have you ever been told your earlobes are not your best feature?

But I don't get as upset anymore as I try not to take it so personally now, because I have realised that whoever his partner was they would get exactly the same treatment as she gives me.

I also try to avoid making the beautiful boy feel like he needs to choose me over his mum as that would not be fair on him, as it isn't his fault that she says some crazy shit sometimes. But he does always stick up for me when necessary which I am thankful for.

And the one true positive from having the Ma Law from hell is that there is no bigger sign or declaration of how much I really do love him than going to stay with her for Christmas!

In some ways going to Ma Laws will be lovely, as it is always nice to spend time and catch up with the rest of his family as they actually do like me, and she lives in the countryside so it makes a nice change from city living.

And the food is always fantastic and I won't have to do a thing to help, because as you can see from previous years I can't help as I do every single thing wrong - so very very wrong...

Food prep - I throw away most of a potato apparently when peeling it, as I am SO heavy handed with the knife that I remove most of the potato with the skin, and I am SO slow prepping the carrots and brussels sprouts that I should have started last Christmas to have them ready for this Christmas...

Cooking - If I offer to help with the cooking she looks horrified and can't get me out of the kitchen fast enough.

My first Christmas at her house I brought a homemade lemon drizzle cake (yum!), which was pushed to the back of a cupboard and never eaten. So now every year I make her a Christmas cake (traditional Christmas fruitcake) and tell her that her beautiful boy made it, and as he is good in the kitchen she believes me, and to her it is the best thing ever made! And do I get great pleasure seeing her eat it and imagining what her reaction would be if I told her I had made it - Hell yes!

Setting the table - I leave great big fingerprints all over the glasses and cutlery (I don't), and there is more artistry displayed in the fur balls her cat produces than my attempts at swan napkins and table centre pieces...(what an insult though! I have to give her kudos for that one).

Clearing the table/washing up - I can't do this correctly either as I am too rough when handling great-great-great-auntie Philomena's fine china dinner plates, the water isn't hot enough and I use too much washing up liquid...

I could go on but I think you get the message she sends.

So basically I get to eat loads, drink, watch tv, hang out with the nice in-laws and play games with the nieces and nephews which makes me the cool auntie.

But the downside is that she really doesn't approve of me because she thinks I am not good enough for her beautiful boy (there isn't a woman on this planet that would be), and she is never shy about letting me know that. And even though I don't let it upset me anymore it still isn't very nice to listen to...

And apparently I have corrupted her beautiful boy, as we are not married and living in sin (but if we told her we were getting married she would probably die!).

And as I am such a morally corrupt person she refuses to let us share a bedroom (no matter what her beautiful boy says/pleads).

So I sleep in the spare room and he sleeps in his old bedroom which is kept as a shrine to her beautiful boy circa age 15, with his AC/DC, Guns N' Roses and Metallica posters still on the walls (posters of scantily clad women were taken down immediately, as were the Slipknot posters as they would cause nightmares apparently).

His sister's bedrooms were turned into spare rooms the moment they had all moved out but any suggestions of changing his bedroom are totally ignored.

And of course her bedroom is between mine and his, I swear she has done something to the floorboards outside her bedroom as they creak alarmingly loudly when you get within 10 feet of them so trying to creep from one room to another gets you caught EVERY single time!

As we live several hours away from her (luckily for me), we don't see her very often during the year so when we go for Christmas we usually stay for at least 3 days.

I do feel sorry for her as she is now on her own since her husband died 4 years ago, and even though all her daughters live fairly local they are busy with their own families and work etc, and also I want the beautiful boy to spend time with her so he doesn't feel guilty or have regrets in the future when she is no longer here.

Which is why with the way Christmas falls this year we will be staying for 5 nights, (and only having to use a day and a half holidays from work!) - what have I done! The Ma Law from hell and no sex for 5 nights, I blame the cocktails I had been drinking when I suggested this.

The beautiful boy was aghast when I said it, especially as I said it very loudly (the cocktails...) while he was on the phone to his mum, and once she heard staying for 5 nights there was no going back - even if it does include me as well!

Every time we stay there we never manage to have sexy alone time as she somehow always manages to block us spending any time together alone.

We even brought mistletoe with us one year just to have an excuse to kiss, until it was confiscated by you know who...

While trying to placate the beautiful boy (and myself as well) at the prospect of no sex/touching/kissing for so many days I have set us the seemingly impossible task of breaking the Ma Law no shenanigans under her roof rule!

Where there is a willy there must be a way...

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Christmas Eve -

Q - How to piss off your Ma Law before you even get there?

A - Leave home over 3 hours later than we originally planned, because we keep having sex one more time just in case we can't break the no shenanigans rule and while we still can...

⁃ Sleepy slow lazy good morning sex which is always a perfect way to start the day.

I thought I was having the most amazingly erotic dream until I was awake enough to realise it was you touching me for real and not a dream.

We are spooning and you are pressed in tight against my back, with one leg in between mine, kissing the back of my neck and shoulder while running your hand very lightly up and down my side.

Then when you know I am waking up you start to lightly touch my breast closest to you as well, before starting to squeeze it and play with my nipple.

"Morning," I say sleepily, and then turn my head back towards you so we can kiss. Breaking off the kiss I sigh and say, "Much better than an alarm clock!"

Laughing you reply "I will be your alarm cock anytime you want!"

I groan at your joke, "Less joking and more kissing!"

And while we lazily exchange kisses you continue to lightly run your fingers over my skin, stopping every so often to pay extra attention to my breasts.

I move my hand to the side of your leg which is between my legs, and start to gently run my nails over your skin up to your hip and then over your bum and down the back of your thigh and back to the side of your leg again and keep doing this in a constant loop.

Every so often I press my nails more firmly against your skin, and each time I can feel your already hard cock twitch where it is trapped between us.

You move your leg further up in between my legs so it is pressing against my pussy, and I start to grind down against it, letting out soft moans from the friction against my clit.

We continue on with this and my breathing is heavier, moans getting louder as I move harder against your thigh.

Then you move your leg away and I groan in disappointment until your hand makes its way down to my clit.

And then moving your hand again you slowly insert just the tip of your middle finger inside me, then when you can feel how aroused I am you slide your finger the rest of the way in.

Laughing as I let out a loud moan as you move your finger until you hit my g-spot, "I can't believe how wet you are just from grinding on my leg!"

Moaning again as you start to rub my g-spot I reply, "You know I love your thighs and their muscles, I really do appreciate your leg days at the gym! Oh fuck! Right there!"

And then you slide your finger out but before I can complain you are using it to circle my clit lightly, and then moving it down again but this time you push 2 fingers inside me and back to my g-spot and starting to firmly massage it.

"Oh fuck, fuuuck!" I moan as I move against your fingers, "Feels so good when you do that, fuck just like that!"

And now you let out a groan because my movements are getting more erratic and every time I move your cock is rubbing against me.

"Have I ever told you how much I love your fingers?" I say in between moans that are getting louder.

You laughingly ask "Do you love them more than my thighs?"

"More with each passing second!" I manage to pant out.

"Do you know how much I love how wet you get, and how much I love the sound of your pussy when it is this wet?" you ask me.

"Fuuuuck!" is all I manage to say before my orgasm hits, your fingers continue to work me through it until I reach down and grab your wrist to let you know to stop as I am now too sensitive.

"Wow! Now that is a good morning!" I laughingly say, "Thanks!"

"Glad you enjoyed it, have to make the most of these moments while we can!"

"But there is one thing that would make it even better!" I tell you.

"And what would that be?" you ask laughing, knowing exactly what I am going to answer with.

"Your cock in me now!" I reply.

"I think I can manage that!" you tell me as still in a spooning position you move and lift my leg slightly and then slide your cock along my pussy backwards and forwards before pushing inside me.

"Mmmm, that moment when the head of your cock first pushes inside me feels amazing, every single time!"

"Your pussy is always so warm and wet, and the way you grip my cock so tight, FUCK like that exactly like that!"

And we settle into a nice slow and steady pace, taking our time and just enjoying how good it feels, trying to make it last as long as possible.

But eventually we start to speed up and our movements become more urgent as the feelings of pleasure start to increase.

And with my hand gripping your thigh I urge you on, "Harder, there oh right there! Fuck, faster! I'm so close, I'm going to cum!"

And as orgasm #2 hits me I clench so tightly around your cock that you can barely move inside me, and once my muscles start to relax you give a few more hard thrusts before shouting, "Fuck!" and starting to cum as deep inside me as you can get.

Still breathing heavily I start to laugh as I ask you, "Have I ever told you how much I love your cock!"

"You may have mentioned it once or twice!" you reply, "But always good to hear again!"

You start to pull out of me and I make an unhappy noise, "I know, I could quite happily stay right here but we can't. However I do know something that might get you into the shower in the very near future!"

"What?" I ask.

"If you go and get in the shower now I will wash your hair..."

And as getting my hair washed is very much on the list of things I love I was up and on my way to the bathroom while you finished saying "for you!"

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⁃ Shower fun with a lot of kissing and touching but hand jobs only as I am not explaining to Ma Law why you fell in the shower and broke your leg and ruined Christmas.

Which leads us onto the next delay...

We often shower together but refrain from full on sex as our shower is quite small and we have nearly done serious damage to ourselves or each other any time we attempt it. So now we save it for when we go away somewhere with a better and bigger shower (and yes that is a deciding factor when booking a hotel now!).

But of course all the touching and soaping each other up etc does lead to other things... especially when you wash my hair as I love it ALOT!

By the time you make it to the bathroom I have had a pee, and am in the shower with hair wet and holding out the bottle of shampoo waiting for you! I then have to wait while you have a pee and then finally make it into the shower.

"What took you so long?" I ask.

"Nothing!" you reply.

"Well hurry up!" I say handing you the bottle of shampoo and turning my back to you.

I have always enjoyed having my hair washed at the hairdressers as I find it very relaxing, but the first time you ended up washing it for me - ooh la la la!

I had cut my hand quite badly and had to get stitches and had a protective dressing on it for the first few days, so you helped cover the dressing with clingfilm and off I went to the shower fully confident that I could manage!

Being the lovely boyfriend that you are you stood near the door just to check I could manage okay, and after you heard me drop the bottle of shampoo twice and use swear words that you had never heard me use before you stripped off and joined me in the shower, took the shampoo and started to wash my hair for me.

I got so turned on it was ridiculous, I think it was because I thought it was so intimate as you were being so gentle, and we were naked and very close to each other and did I mention naked! Washing of the hair NAKED! And one thing led to another and then I slipped and fell on my bad hand and ripped open all the stitches so that put an end to that!

But ever since that is your get out of jail free card, so whenever you are trying to make up for doing something really stupid, or you think I deserve a little treat you always offer to wash my hair.

So you start to wash my hair and I start to moan my appreciation, and I had noticed when you got in the shower that you were still semi-erect so I reach behind me and start to stroke your cock nice and slowly and now you are starting to moan too.

I keep the same pace going until you finish washing my hair, and then you turn me around to face you and push me up against the tiles, laughing when I squeal at the cold tiles against my back.

Bending down to kiss me, your hands start to wander over my body, and then one hand is sliding down until it reaches my clit. I moan into your mouth as you start to move your finger around my clit in continuous circles, gradually increasing the pressure.

I pick up the pace stroking your cock as I have been teasing you with slow strokes for long enough, you break off from kissing me to moan and say, "Fuck! Feels so good!"

I tighten my grip and increase the pace again and soon you are groaning loudly telling me, "Don't stop! Fuck you're going to make me cum!"

I add a little twist in to the upstroke and with my other hand start to fondle your balls, and it doesn't take long before you let out a huge groan and start to shoot cum over my stomach and breasts. I keep going until you ask me to stop.

"You get me every time with the twist, every single time!"

"And your balls!" I reply.

I have started to play with my clit as it was temporarily abandoned while you were getting off, and I know you will get back to it but it sometimes takes a minute or 2 for your brain to reboot after an orgasm, so I decide to crack on.

And sure enough about a minute later you realise that it isn't your fingers on my clit, "Hey!" you exclaim loudly, and move my fingers away to replace them with your own.

And you start to kiss me again while moving your fingers backwards and forwards over my clit, and then upping the tempo when I start to moan loudly.

And you keep on kissing me, even when I start to cum again and can only moan and say a rather muffled, "Oh god, oh god!"

And as I recover from yet another glorious orgasm (#3) I notice that you are looking rather smug. So reaching for the shower gel I squirt some into my hand before handing you the bottle, and while starting to wash myself I say, "Yeah yeah you are a sex god!"

"No, I am YOUR sex god!" you reply, "Remind me - how many orgasms have you had so far this morning?"

I just look at you and laugh, "3 fantastic orgasms so thank you! But don't forget you still owe me lots and lots of orgasms from your 2 week attempt at No Nut November!"

And rinsing the shower gel off I step out of the shower, leaving you muttering something about, "How many is lots and lots?"

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⁃ After breakfast bent over the kitchen table sex, those crunchy nut cornflakes really do stick!

After blow drying my hair I pull on a short dressing gown and go downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast, you are already munching your way through what looks like the entire box of crunchy nut cornflakes.

I make myself some tea and toast, and while we eat we talk about what we have packed for the trip to Ma Laws, just to double check we haven't forgotten anything.

As the year you forgot to bring your mum's Christmas present is something never to be discussed again as she of course blamed me...

And then just general chit chat about looking forward to seeing the rest of the family, and you looking for hints on what I got you for Christmas!

I start to clear the table of our breakfast things, and as I pass you on my way back to wipe the table clean and get my tea you pull me down onto your lap, "Do you have any idea how sexy you are right now?" you ask me.

I just look at you like you are mad, "In my dressing gown, drinking tea, yep I am a total sex bomb!" I laughingly reply.

I go to get off your lap but you pull me back down and put your arms around me, "You are a sex bomb to me!"

Again I laugh and say, "I am not telling you what I got you for Christmas, you can wait until tomorrow to open it!"

Waggling your eyebrows at me you start to untie the belt on my dressing gown, "How about I open this now instead?" you ask me.

"You do realise that we are so late already?"

"Well if we are already late..." and you finish opening my dressing gown and pull it down and free of my arms. "See total sex bomb - total naked sex bomb!"

And then you stand us both up and give me a playful smack on my bum, "Get bent over the table please!" and you walk over to a kitchen cupboard to get the pump bottle of coconut oil we use for lube when having sex downstairs.

I am pleasantly surprised that we are going for round 3 and more than happy to comply with the request to bend over on the kitchen table.

You quickly strip off your t-shirt and shorts, and then you pump some of the coconut oil into your hand and start stroking your cock back to fully erect which doesn't take long, as I could feel how hard you were already when I was sitting on your lap.