Goblinsbane Ch. 04: Underachiever

The adventurers guildhall was alive with activity when Sister Sabine and Kassus arrived. Right after the priestess stepped through the front door, she saw a drunk lizard-woman jump atop a bar, announce that she would buy the whole room a round of drinks, and then fall on her tail. The bar area exploded into laughter, and there were cheers from a variety of patrons, including a blue-skinned mage, a half-orc wearing glasses, and a creature with rock-like skin that she couldn't identify.

Sabine thought it was an interesting scene. But as interesting as it was, she suspected it wouldn't be the most interesting thing she saw in the guildhall today.

Although this was Sabine's first time in an adventurers guildhall, she had already heard much about such places, mostly from Eredwal and Akam. They had explained to her that these hallowed halls were where adventurers went to find jobs, to find new parties to join or individuals to fill out their existing groups, or to simply relax. Upon entering, the first thing she saw was a sign that told her to go to the right to find the registration counter, information center, career counseling, and job board, or go to the left to find the bar.

In other words: work on the right, play on the left.

"With all this noise, I'm surprised anyone gets any work done around here," Kassus said.

Sabine nodded, the energy of the place making her smile. "I imagine adventurers are accustomed to loud noise and chaos. They probably do their best work under such conditions." After watching the ruckus for a few seconds longer, she walked away from the bar. Kassus followed close behind.

The right side of the building was the picture of order and efficiency. A motley collection of adventurers - some armored, some dressed in the colorful robes of wizards, others wearing normal street clothes - waited in three neat lines on one side of the registration counter. On the other side, guildhall staff spoke to adventurers or read through paperwork at their desks.

Sabine noticed that all of the employees were attractive women. Her curiosity piqued, she added that to her mental catalogue of "things to ask the Goblinsbane about".

Speaking of the Goblinsbane, she spotted him at the far end of the counter, talking with one of the employees. Maka was with him. The two of them were dressed in casual attire rather than their adventuring gear. Sabine would have been caught off guard if they were dressed for work, because when Eredwal arranged for this meetup, he explained that he would spend the day explaining the inner workings of the guildhall and other aspects of adventuring; he made no mention of actually going out on an adventure.

Sabine and Kassus maneuvered around adventurers to get to their two newest friends. Maka was the first one to notice their approach. She smiled and waved. Sabine couldn't help but smile in return.

"Hey hey!" Eredwal exclaimed when they got closer. "Look who the church bells summoned." Sabine's smile broadened, for she was happy to know that her new friend was excited to see her. Even Kassus smiled a little.

"Where's Akam?" Kassus asked Maka.

"He's at home studying, if you can believe it." Maka giggled. "He's finally reading that compendium of monsters that I've been trying to get him to read for ages."

"Yeah, it's a real miracle," Eredwal said, chuckling. Leaning on the counter, he turned to the woman on the other side. "These are the new party members I was telling you about: Sister Sabine and Kassus Tankwell. You can guess which is which."

Although everyone around him was all smiles, Kassus's expression bordered on a frown. "'Tankwell?' Your latest attempt at a funny name is lazier than usual, Goblinsbane."

Eredwal gave the guard a look of feigned sorrow. "I was trying to pay you an honest compliment, K-Town. Cripes, a little gratitude would've been nice."

Again, Eredwal turned to the woman on the other side of the counter and gestured toward Kassus in a 'can you believe this guy?' kind of way. "Kassus's toughness more than makes up for his abrasive personality. The sister, on the other hand, is so sweet she's likely to give you the sugar fits."

Before Sabine could ask who the stranger was, Eredwal finished the introductions. "Sister, Kassus, this is Ji-ah. She's a supervisor here at the guildhall, and someone I've known since my earliest days as an adventurer."

Sabine smiled at Ji-ah and extended her hand. In the few seconds it took to shake hands, she did a quick study of the woman.

Ji-ah had a light complexion and pretty, dark, narrow eyes. Her straight, black hair was arranged into a tight bun; it didn't look like a single hair was out of place. Her attire - a pair of spectacles with thin, dark metal frames, a white, long-sleeved blouse, and a skirt that reached down to her ankles - helped give her a professional appearance. She appeared to be about the same age as Sabine, although the harvest priestess - like all Mireans - was actually much older than she looked.

Right away, Sabine realized that, like Eredwal, Ji-ah must have either come from Atia or had ancestry from there. Her name certainly sounded Atian. Sabine also noted that in a matter of only a ten-day, she had gone from never meeting a Far Easterner to meeting two and befriending one. Meeting new people had always been something she enjoyed, and making new friends was something she had always cherished.

"Hello, Sister. It's a pleasure to meet you." Ji-ah's voice sounded pleasant, and Sabine detected only a trace of an accent. Because Eredwal didn't have a discernible accent, she guessed that he grew up in Sildare. Ji-ah, on the other hand, probably immigrated here later in life.

"Likewise," Sabine replied while Ji-ah and Kassus shook hands. Suddenly feeling playful, the priestess asked the first question that popped into her head. "So you've known Eredwal for a long time? What was he like as a rookie?"

Maka's eyes went wide, and she clapped her fingers together. "Oo, yes! Please tell us what the Goblinsbane was like back then!"

"I can't imagine him as a rookie," Kassus mumbled.

Ji-ah chuckled. "I remember my first encounter with the Goblinsbane quite vividly. He was a very angry low-level adventurer. Perhaps the angriest rookie I've ever met, and that includes the berserkers I've known."

That got a big laugh out of Kassus. It was obvious that he was enjoying what Ji-ah had to say about their party's leader. However, when Sabine glanced at Eredwal, she could tell he wasn't enjoying this trip down memory lane.

"He was also exceedingly focused," Ji-ah continued. "Back then, there was only one thing he wanted to do: kill goblinoids. He refused to do anything else. As long as a quest involved killing goblinoids or had the possibility of goblinoid involvement, he took it. He'd even turned down quests that offered more pay and more glory."

Maka, who'd been listening with wide-eyed interest, turned to Eredwal. "You don't do that anymore. You always tell me and Akam to prioritize quests that have the biggest potential payout for the least amount of risk.

"'Quest smarter, not harder,'" she said in a surprisingly accurate impression of the Goblinsbane. The impression was so good it made Kassus laugh even louder. Eredwal continued to look uncomfortable.

Sabine guessed that his past wasn't a favorite subject of his. That wasn't surprising. Although they had spent many hours traveling together - they had even completed a dungeon crawl together - she still didn't know much about him.

Ji-ah may have noticed Eredwal's discomfort as well, because she shifted the subject from his past to his present. "Yes, now the Goblinsbane is this guildhall's most efficient quester. He regularly knocks out multiple quests in the time it takes most adventurers - even other seasoned adventurers - to complete just one or two.

"Seasoned adventurers endeavor to maximize their quest efficiency all the time, of course. But no one does it as well as Eredwal."

"What do you mean?" Sabine asked. "From what I've seen, quests are typically straightforward, aren't they? How much more can they be streamlined?"

"Yes, most quests are straightforward. But Eredwal does something...I don't even know how to explain it." Ji-ah stepped out from behind the counter. "Eredwal, why don't you show us what you do? It'd be much easier than me trying to explain it."

Eredwal appeared to relax. He nodded. "Okay. We came here to find work, anyway, so now's as good a time as any to check out the board."

The board that Eredwal and Ji-ah lead the group to was none other than the guildhall's quest board. It was rather sizable; although it wasn't particularly tall, it was so wide that it covered an entire wall beside the registration counter. Sabine reckoned it must have been around ten feet wide, which made it much bigger than the community boards she had seen in temples, taverns, and cafes.

It wasn't only the size of the quest board that caught Sabine's attention; she was also impressed by how well-organized it was. Instead of being a mess of random postings written by a variety of different hands, all of the slips of paper tacked upon it were of uniform size. As Sabine browsed a few of the quest posts, she realized they were all of uniform formatting, too.

Another thing that distinguished the quest board from community boards she had seen was how its posts were organized. Rather than being tacked onto the board haphazardly, they were organized into three labeled rows: 'Dungeon', 'Wilderness', and 'Settlement", indicating where the quest would take place. The settlement row was the shortest, but even that one had a dozen unclaimed quests on it. Each row had multiple blank spots on them, because when an adventurer accepted a quest, they took the post off the board.

"Your board is beautifully organized," Sabine said out loud rather than keep her flattering thoughts to herself.

"Thank you for saying so," Ji-ah responded and she reorganized the posts to eliminate the blank spots. "Here at the Vesper adventurers guild, we take pride in our organization and our efficiency."

"I'm guessing that you and your staff receive quests from the public, and then you write the posts yourselves so that they follow the same system?"

"Quite right!" The excitement on Ji-ah's face made it obvious that she wanted to talk more about the quest board and the inner workings of the adventurers guildhall.

"I'd very much like to hear what else you do to keep your hall running efficiently," Sabine said, for she was genuinely interested in learning more. "But we're going to watch Eredwal demonstrate something, yes?"

The group looked at Eredwal, who didn't say anything because he was too focused on the board.

"He's already doing it," Maka observed. Sabine detected a hint of awe in the young sorceress's voice.

"I've always enjoyed watching him do this," Ji-ah said, a tiny smile on her face.

Sabine quirked an eyebrow, wondering what they were talking about. As far as she could tell, Eredwal was just pacing in front of the board, glancing at the quest posts. He remained silent as he did so. His lips were pulled down into a frown, not because he appeared to be displeased with what he saw, but because he was concentrating. Now and then, he ran his palm over his mohawk. On other occasions, his lips moved as he whispered something to himself that Sabine couldn't hear.

The group watched Eredwal do this for only a few minutes before he suddenly exclaimed, "Got it!" He then snatched four papers off the board: three from the Wilderness row, and one from the Settlement row.

Before Sabine could ask what he meant, he raised one of the posts and began to explain.

"This quest is from a wizard here in Vesper who needs an opal, probably as a reagent for some ritual. He's paying two hundred gold. Here's the thing, though: finding an opal that's cheaper than two hundred gold is going to be tough. This cheap bastard wants an adventurer to sell him an opal for less than what a jeweler would.

"Not likely, right?" It must have been a rhetorical question, because before anyone could answer, Eredwal held up another paper.

"This quest is from a merchant who lost a box of precious stones. The shipment was supposed to come in on a wagon traveling down the Faithful Way, but the wagon disappeared. If adventurers find the shipment of jewels and are honest enough to bring it back to the merchant, she'll let them keep one jewel of their choice as payment, and she'll also give them a lifelong discount at her shop.

"See where I'm going with this?"

Again, before anyone could answer, he kept on talking.

"I know the Faithful Way. I used it to travel east just last month. If you travel out of Vesper and follow the Faithful Way for about ten or eleven leagues, you'll come across the Howling Moors. They don't call them 'the Howling Moors' just because it sounds cool - that place has been littered with jackal-men for as long as anybody can remember.

"I'd bet platinum to pound cake that the shipment of jewels was taken by jackal-men. I also bet that if we travel to the Howling Moors, we'll find the wagon left on the side of the road, or at least some tracks that'll lead us to it."

Eredwal paused to take a breath and to show the third quest post. By this point, everyone in the group was listening to him with rapt attention. There were even some strangers standing near the board who were listening in.

"Here, we've got a quest from an alchemist who's asking for one hundred beastmen teeth, and she's pay one gold per tooth. Well, guess what jackal-men are?"

One of the adventurers standing near them - a shaggy-haired dwarf dressed in furs - exclaimed, "They're beastmen!"

"That's right!" Eredwal gave the dwarf a thumbs up. "How you doin', Boffi? Haven't seen ya in a spell."

"I's doin' just fine, lad," the dwarf replied. A big and surprisingly white grin split his bushy beard.

"Good! Okay, where was I? Oh, yeah...

"So, if we go to the Howling Moors and find out that it was jackal-men behind the lost jewels, we're going to have to fight 'em anyway. We may as well yank out their teeth while we're at it."

Sabine didn't like the prospect of pulling out teeth from the mouth of a jackal-headed monster, but she reminded herself that unsavory tasks like that were part and parcel with being an adventurer.

Eredwal held up the last of the posts he pulled from the board. "This one is from the same alchemist; she's asking for a handful of creep weeds, and she's paying fifty gold. Normally, a low-paying fetch quest like this wouldn't warrant my attention. But guess where creep weeds grow in abundance?"

Boffi the dwarf answered this one, too. "In tha Howling Moors?"

"Right again! You'd better catch up, Kassus, or else we're going to replace you with Boffi over here."

The dwarf was beaming. Kassus, however, wasn't in the mood to smile.

Eredwal continued. "That's four quests we can knock out in less than a day, if we're fast and lucky. Three hundred and fifty gold pieces plus a handful of gems for only a single day's work is pretty damn sweet.

"If I spend more time studying the board, I can probably come up with a better plan than that. But this isn't a bad start." Eredwal shook the four pieces of paper in his hand.

Sister Sabine was impressed. Glancing at Kassus, she saw that although he was frowning, he nodded imperceptibly, which for him was a big tell. She didn't need to glance at Maka to determine how she felt about her mentor.

However, there was at least one person in the guildhall who wasn't impressed, and that person made his feelings known.

"Killing trash monsters and collecting weeds, Eredwal? After all these years, you're still doing quests meant for rookies."

Sister Sabine couldn't help but detect the contempt in the voice of whoever said that. Turning around, she saw the speaker standing in the hall that lead to the bar.

The first thing she noticed about him was how he was covered from neck to toe in shining armor. Kassus cared for his plate armor better than anyone else she knew, and that included polishing it practically every day, but this stranger's plate outshined even his. He wore a silver cape to compliment his resplendent gear.

At first, she thought he was a tall man, but a single look at his face and his pointed ears made her realize that he was an elf - a light elf, specifically. The people of Sildare referred to them as 'light elves' because of their light features: blonde or white hair, skin like alabaster, and pale eyes of either green, blue, or gold. This one had green eyes and long hair that cascaded past his shoulders like a white-gold waterfall.

In addition to their distinct features and otherworldly beauty, light elves were also known for their haughtiness, and the stranger now walking toward Eredwal appeared to have that in abundance. Self-assuredness was painted upon his face as well as in his body language. And although he smiled, there was an ugliness to the expression that Sabine didn't like.

"Well, if it isn't the gorgeous dickhead, Cindahlion of Ascobalé," Eredwal said. "You managed to pull yourself away from the mirror long enough to walk amongst us normals, huh? What brings you to Vesper? Perfume sale?"

Sabine knew that men often insulted their friends as an ironic form of affection, but there was an iciness in his tone that made it clear these two adventurers were far from friends.

Cindahlion laughed; even his laughter sounded musical. "You're as crass as you are predictable." He stepped so close to Eredwal that, for a moment, Sabine thought they were going to grapple. They didn't; instead, the man and the elf stared daggers into each other.

"If you must know, I'm here to receive a special gift from the Priest Lord himself. The other Saviors and I stopped a sea giant's army from destroying Martheon, where the Priest Lord's sister and her family reside. As thanks, a statue of my likeness is being added to the House of the Rising Sun, and the Priest Lord herself is going to bless it.

"Now, what was it that you were up to?" The elf glanced at the notices in Eredwal's hand and scoffed. "Figuring out how to get three hundred gold with the least amount of work?"

"Three hundred and fifty, actually," Eredwal replied without skipping a beat. "Plus gems. Since your head is so far up your snow-white ass, I'm not surprised you have trouble hearing."

For the first time since Sabine first saw him, Cindahlion's smirk faltered, but only a bit.

Eredwal broke eye contact with him in order to look around. Sabine's gaze followed his. By this point, the rest of their party and several other adventurers had formed a wide half-circle around the man and the elf. It reminded her of how children gather around two students about to fight in a schoolyard.

It appeared as though Eredwal was looking for someone. Whoever it was mustn't have been there, because he turned back to the elf, who laughed again. "Like I said, you're so predictable. Don't worry, Narakesh isn't here. She has no interest in you.

"To be frank, I have no interest in you, either. I'm here merely because I wanted to pay a visit to the guildhall in which I got my humble start. It was by pure coincidence that I arrived in time to witness you demonstrate how you're stuck doing fetch quests for pocket change."

Eredwal scowled while Cindahlion's musical laughter filled the air.

"You're exactly where we left you, Underachiever."

Sabine saw Eredwal's jaw muscles tense. She heard the crinkling of paper, and saw that the quest notices in his hand were now crumpled in a tight fist. In her mind, she prepared a prayer of healing, because she suspected someone was about to get hurt.

"Call me that again," Eredwal said, his voice low and dangerous.

The elf didn't appear to be intimidated in the slightest. He leaned in a little closer and said, "You are and you will always be Eredwal the Underachiever."