Just a Little Help from my Friends

"I'll need a suit."

"You didn't get to see my back deck, did you? I live on a hill. Infinity pool. Amazing view. No neighbors. But if you want one, I'm pretty sure I've got you covered. Top left drawer in the guestroom you slept in last night."

Neither of us said anything on the drive back to his house. Part of me was concerned about leaving my car another night at Halftime. A bigger part pondered all the little things that seemed to happen. The spa, the clothes. It had all been coincidence, accidental; right?

Keith disappeared into the master suite. I headed up to the room I had slept in last night, stripping off my clothes and opening the top left drawer, looking for a pair of trunks my size.

"Bikinis?" I was standing there naked in front of the dresser, looking at maybe a dozen skimpy bikinis. I checked a few other drawers. It looked like this was all he had.

"Want me to pick one for you?" Keith's right hand appeared in front of me with a glass of some amber liquid in it. "You looked great on the golf course in those shorts and that top. I didn't think it would be an issue. Maybe the red one."

He was saying it like it was no big deal, like it was a foregone conclusion. I took a sip of my drink. Damn, it was smooth. Deep breath and I looked at Keith in the mirror. He was definitely checking me out.

"Come on. Just pick." He swatted me on the butt and left me there. The red one was probably the skimpiest one in the drawer. I laughed and looked for something a little more conservative, trying on three or four and admiring myself in the mirror.

There was a common theme. I had the ass and tits for a bikini, and no matter which style I picked, my bushy thicket of pubic hair stuck out all over the place. I thought about what Keith had said about shaving. It wouldn't be necessary. It was just him and me. Besides, just like they did in lace, my boobs looked better with my chest shaved and I did that all the time. This would be just one step further. I took a deep breath and drained my drink, letting the smooth burn of the scotch fill me with courage.

It didn't seem odd at all that everything I needed was in the bathroom. This was obviously a girl's room, after all. A trimmer sat on the counter. Right next to it was a razor. I started by trimming my crotch so the bikini would look better. When I was done, my cock and balls were bare. That looked weird, so I did my legs like Keith had suggested.

"Fuck." I muttered to myself, realizing where this was going. Underarms, then my arms. Thirty minutes later, I was smooth all over.

I ended up in the red bikini, anyway. Glancing back over my shoulder at the mirror as I left the room, damn, I had a nice ass, and the tiny scrap of red covering it showed it off maybe too well. I was just glad it kept what was in front covered.

Keith didn't say a word about the bikini I chose or the fact that I shaved. He just got out of the hot tub, took my glass and went inside to make me another drink. I climbed into the bubbles and waited. When he came back, he brought a bottle of scotch and a bucket of ice with him.

We sat and soaked, neither of us saying much as we let the bubbles chase away the day. That was until I had to go pee. I could feel Keith's eyes following me as I went inside. For fun, I added a little wiggle to my walk.

"That's the pizza. You want to get that, please? It's paid for." Keith hollered from the hot tub when the doorbell rang. I was coming back from the bathroom, and I was closer, so I obliged.

I wish I could have gotten a picture of the delivery guy's face. Probably a high school kid.

"Here's your pizza, miss." His eyes went straight to my chest, then slowly wandered down my stomach to my crotch. I'd never even thought about hiding my stuff. Why would I? It was just me and Keith. When the poor kid saw what was in my bikini bottoms, his face went white. He almost dropped the pizza.

"I hope you tipped him well." I laughed as I rejoined Keith in the hot tub, offering him a slice of the cheesy goodness.

"Yeah, if you're going to run around like that, you probably want to tuck junior back out of the way." He laughed. "I'll bet the look on the poor kid's face was priceless."

"Tuck it back out of the way? What?"

"Just what it sounds like. Push him back between your legs. The twins will retreat up into your abdomen, and you'll be all nice and flat. Go ahead, try it."

Keith just sat there and watched, this odd grin on his face as I tried what he described. Sure enough, my testicles disappeared up into my abdomen, and when I pulled my bikini bottoms up tight, my crotch looked almost as smooth as any girl I'd seen. Well, as smooth as Casey, anyway.

"There are things you can buy that make it even more dramatic." The way he described it was so nonchalant. He might as well have been talking about the Rangers' box scores, or something.

"You seem to know a lot about this kind of stuff. Am I missing something here?"

"I don't think so." There was that odd grin again. "I just know some people." He shrugged and grabbed my now empty glass, pouring me another scotch.

We sat in the hot water and talked about all kinds of stuff. Nothing significant, just stuff.

Noshing on pizza and both maintaining a soft buzz offered by the scotch.

I slept great and since we had just maintained, instead of getting blasted. There wasn't even a trace of a hangover when I woke up.

Once more, when I got out of the shower, there were clothes on the vanity next to the sink.

"Hey, where are my shorts from yesterday?" I was trying not to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. I knew he meant to do me a favor, and it had been an honest mistake, but the shorts I had on today were even shorter than the ones from yesterday. My boxer briefs stuck out the top and hung out at least two inches below the shorts.

"Um, in the wash. Why?" He laughed too when he turned to look at me. "Try the top right drawer of the dresser. Sorry, man, it's the best I can do for you."

"Fuck." I knew exactly what my choices were going to be. Sure enough, the drawer was full of satin and lace and bright colors. Whoever's room I was sleeping in was all girl.

Thank the gods. In the back of the drawer, I found a few pairs of simple cotton bikini briefs, all pastel pink with hearts on them. Great. My shorts were white. Those fucking hearts were going to show through. Better than the lace, I justified it to myself. Today's round of golf was going to be miserable. I just knew it.

"Dude, really?" Keith saw exactly what I was worried about. "Go back and try a thong."

I had to do the tuck thing Keith told me about, and that string of cloth up the crack of my butt was going to take some getting used to. But nobody was going to know I was wearing panties. I wasn't going to admit that the soft satin felt nice against my shaved crotch, either.

"Damn it. Kelly, I apologize. I did not expect this. These guys are assholes. I'll try to deflect as much as I can, but, well, shit... I am so sorry."

"Keith, I've been dealing with assholes for years. I'll be fine." We made a match play bet for a hundred bucks each, which may have been a mistake. These guys were off the charts.

They talked incessantly, regardless of someone taking a swing or lining up a put. 'Freak, sissy boy.' I got all the derogatory names they could think of. One of them even asked me if he could fuck my tits in the men's room at the turn.

"No, but you can suck my dick." I just left him standing there.

My simmering anger helped me concentrate, even ignoring Keith to an extent. I just focused on my game.

It went on and on. "Damn, man. I know she's got a dick, but I'd fuck that ass in a heartbeat."

"You think those tits are real, or did she pay for them?"

"Nah, man, those got to be fake. She's a dick-girl, remember?"

Because of the shotgun start, our last hole was the sixteenth, a par three over a massive water hazard. Through all the crap, and with Keith doing most of the heavy lifting, we were even. I was last off the tee. Asshole number 2 dropped a beautiful shot about three inches from the cup. He was the one I said could suck my dick.

"You gonna give us a show when we get back to the clubhouse? Dex and me got a bet on whether you paid for your tits." He cackled. Asshole number one, or Dex, laughed with him.

"Kelly. Last hole. Just relax and we'll be done with these jerks." He put his hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eye. I nodded and teed up my ball, hitting almost the exact shot as asshole 2, except I got a touch more spin. My ball glanced off his and rolled those last three inches into the cup. His ball caught the break on the green and rolled all the way down the slope, eventually dropping in the water. He'd get to place his ball back where it was, but the look on his face was so worth it.

I grinned at asshole number two. "So, you still want to suck my dick? Maybe a gay boy like you'd let my partner fuck your ass while you do it."

He made a move toward me, and Keith stepped between us. The jerk three-putted to make it worse.

That bogey and my ace cost them the match bet and put them out of the money for the tournament. It served them right. Keith and I ended up in third. Since Keith did that buyback, we cleared two grand a piece. There were a bunch of other payouts. Keith got the longest drive, and I got closest to the pin, plus a cash bonus for my hole in one. I tried to protest taking any of the prize money, but he insisted I had earned it, especially today.

"You put up with shit like that all the time?" At least he waited until we were into our second beer at Halftime before he asked me.

"I have been my whole life. Being fat wasn't any different. I don't know, other guys just seem to like to pick on me. Never a shortage of asshats."

"Nobody has said a word since we got here, and the place is full of guys. Not even a sideways glance, except for a few that were checking out your legs and ass."

"Fuck you, asshole. That's because they all think I'm a goddamned..."

"Ooh, sexy. So... You're thinking about it, I guess." Somebody drew their finger across my lower back. It was Haley. Nobody told me thongs rode up in the back. Now I knew and so did everybody that had watched me walk in, probably. At least she pulled my shirt back down for me before she slipped into the seat next to mine. Her shift had ended, and she decided to join us.

I had my keys in my purse. My purse, just great. My car was right where I left it on Friday. I just wanted to go home and crawl back into my little hole.

"Ouch. I did it again, didn't I?" She put her hand on my arm. "Look. I'm really sorry. It's just..."

I looked up at her. I could feel the tears behind my eyes and see the sudden sadness in hers.

"Never mind. I'll shut up now." But she didn't leave, and her hand stayed right where it was.

"Just what?" I sighed a heavy sigh and looked at her.

She looked at Keith and then back at me.

"It's just when I see you and you're happy, when you're relaxed and having a good time, when you're not thinking about it, well, you're really pretty."

"She's right." Keith reached over and put his hand on my other arm.

"It's why I always try to wait on you. Then I see you like this, and it breaks my heart."

"You've got people on your side, Kelly. No matter what. I liked you the first time we played golf. Tits or no tits, you're a good person." Keith smiled at me.

"Can we just stop, please, before this turns into a full-blown intervention?" I hated it when I got all maudlin like this. As much as I tried to not to let it bother me, it just seemed to find a way. "I'll be fine. Sometimes when I'm tired, it just all gets to be too much, and those assholes we played golf with..."

"Yeah, but you shut them up big time with your hole in one. That was a beautiful shot, and the gay boy comment..."

"Excuse me." I got up and headed for the restroom. It seemed everything they said to make me feel better made me feel worse. I needed to think. Maybe splashing some water on my face or something would help. Just as I reached for the door, someone half tackled me and shoved me into the lady's restroom.

"Just look!" Haley pushed me in front of the mirror. "You are fighting the wrong fight. Look." She insisted again, pointing at the two faces in the mirror. "Take a breath and tell me what you see."

"You and me in the girl's restroom. Are you trying to get me arrested?"

"Who has better legs, nicer tits?" she pointed at the mirror again.

I had to admit it was a tossup. I was taller, and Haley's thighs were a touch thicker than mine. We both had nice breasts. Hers were fuller, but mine were nice, too.

"Turn around and stick your ass out." She grabbed my arm and spun me around. "Well?"

She didn't have to ask the question. Her ass was nice and round, where mine was firm and athletic. The shorts Keith had laid out for me showed off every inch and the thong left it smooth and perfect. Where my body was toned and fit, hers was soft and curvy. She was right. We both qualified as smoke shows, fucking hot ass women. At least from the neck down, if I kept my pants on.

"Here. Lean against the sink." She gently pushed me back against the vinyl counter and pulled some stuff out of her purse. "Just go with me for a minute."

Still trying to wrap my head around what she had just shown me, I just sat there dumbfounded while she did stuff to my face.

"Close your eyes. Almost done. One last thing. Open your mouth a little like you want to kiss me."

The fog cleared. She was putting makeup on me.

"There. Now press your lips together and take another look in the mirror."

Something about the way my lips stuck together ever so slightly as I opened my mouth to gasp made me smile, just a little. It was me, but it wasn't. My eyes looked bigger. My cheek bones were higher and my face softer. Haley was behind me, running a brush through my hair, shaping it around my face.

"Kelly, I'm telling you, you are fighting the wrong battle." She stepped next to me and took my hand. "Can you see it now? Do you see what Keith and I see? There is nothing wrong with your body or the way you look."

"I... Um, I, I..." I could see it, all of it. "I need to pee."

"Sit. Aim back and use a little paper to get the dribbles. You'll be fine. But I'll wait if you want."

"No. I'm ok." I picked a stall, pulled my shorts down and did what she suggested, sitting there while I let everything settle.

'Fighting the wrong battle.' I knew what she meant. She had shown me in the mirror. I knew what I looked like, but could I go there? What would it really mean? Would my life really be any easier than it was right now? It just wasn't that simple. I had so much to think about.

"Can I get my clubs out of your truck?" I put my hand on Keith's shoulder as I grabbed my purse.

"I was thinking we might clean up and go get some dinner. The makeup looks nice." He smiled at me.

"Look, I had a great time in the tournament. We can play again sometime, but right now, I have a lot to figure out. I know both of you are trying to help. It's just gotten to be too much." Fishing my keys out of my purse, I made my way out the door.

Keith had my clubs out of his Tahoe, as I pulled up behind him.

"Thanks for everything. I really had a good time at the tournament, assholes and all." The best I could offer was a soft smile as we shook hands. "I just need someplace to think."

"No problem. I understand. Call me whenever you're ready. Just friends. Just golf. Whatever you want. I'm in." He smiled and winked at me. "For what it's worth, I think Haley wants more than just friends."

Something in my gut told me Keith did, too.

When I got home, I found more evidence. On my bed were two pairs of my shorts and two of my shirts. When I looked in the two drawers full of Casey's stuff, it was obvious someone had been very selective in what they took. Right on top were two pairs of shorts that would easily have covered my boxer briefs. I was just glad he didn't grab her pink yoga shorts.

Putting everything away, I stripped down and went to take a shower. When I got to the bathroom, I stopped and took a long look at myself in the mirror. If I focused on my chest or my face, I was a girl with a cock. If I focused on my crotch, I was a guy with tits. It just depended on the way I looked at myself. I was an optical illusion. Laughing out loud, I reached down and tucked my genitals back between my legs like I had in the red bikini. It didn't matter where I looked; I was a girl.

It was like the more I tried to figure this out, the more confusing it got. I needed to focus. There had to be something I could do to find some kind of center.

"I wonder? Is Haley right?"

Going back to my dresser, I opened the drawers with Casey's stuff in it. Pulling out a pair of her panties and slipping them on, I nestled my junk back between my legs, nice and snug. The pink yoga shorts were next, and after a little digging, the matching sports bra with a purple tank top to put on over it. Ankle socks and then my trainers; they were in the closet. My yoga mat was curled up on the opposite wall. I took the mat Casey had left behind instead because, well; it was pink.

It had been almost two years since I'd gone to the studio. I still paid for the membership, promising myself I'd go back once I was over Casey. I guess that day was today.

They had classes all the time, but there was also an open studio, or used to be. It was a place where people could just come and work out at their own pace. That was my destination.

"Kelly. Well, look at you." Enrique recognized me as soon as I walked in the door. He owned the studio and had been hip deep in all the drama with me and Casey and Philippe.

"Trying to figure this out and can't focus, so." I grinned at him. He had seen the old, fat me and had watched the transition into the very fit, very insecure man with boobs I had become.

"My intermediate class is about to start. Come grab a spot. I'll make sure you don't hurt yourself."

For the next hour and a half, I did stretches, lunges, planks, warriors, and dogs. I had forgotten how much of a workout it was. I had also forgotten how good it made me feel and how much it helped me focus and find my center. When the class ended, I was exhausted, and my mind was perfectly clear.

There was a girl looking back at me in the mirror. A sweaty girl in a cute yoga outfit, but definitely a girl. I still had no clue what I was going to do, but the chaos in my head was evaporating fast.

"Hi. We're going to Starbucks for a coffee. Do you want to join?" The cute brunette that seemed to be the self-appointed leader of the small group gave me a big smile. "I'm Sarah. This is Eve and Rachael."

"Um, sure. I'm Kelly." I smiled back and shook her hand. Ok, I was going to Starbucks with a group of women, women who obviously didn't recognize me for what I was. In slightly different clothes, they would have avoided me like the plague. I had been there dozens of times.

We talked about what I considered normal stuff: jobs, families, kids, husbands, boyfriends. In my case, I offered Casey up as a sacrificial lamb, sort of omitting the fact that she was the woman, and I was the man in the equation. Casey is like Kelly, sort of gender neutral, so it worked.

"Was he at least good in bed?" Eve finally opened the door.

It was a door into a world I never knew existed. Women talk about things guys would never bring up. The biggest surprise was the talk about sex. When I admitted I had only been with Casey and it had been just basic sex, "it was ok, I guess. Neither of us ever complained or anything. I didn't know how to ask for more." It was true. I would have loved for Casey to give me a blow job, but I was too afraid, too insecure to ask.