Loss of The Loyal Wife

Following is an exaggerated version of an acquaintance's experience. All persons are imaginary. There is nothing erotic in this story. It is a short story about a broken man. English is not my first language. Edited in MS Word.

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News about the death of Dana Dotting, the billionaire owner of Dotting Inc., was shocking but not unexpected. She had been struggling with her health for some months now. The media was running the news nearly non-stop since early morning. Condolences were pouring in from all industry big shots and political top brass, including many state heads. Social media was buzzing with appropriate hashtags. Dana Dotting was an enigma--very fierce about privacy of self and her family--but was generally heralded as a champion of women who broke many glass ceilings while taking Dotting Inc. to such heights.

Ryan Dotting, husband of now-late Dana Dotting, was expected to take over the company since Dana's health became critical. He had looked exhausted and half dead himself since his wife felt ill. He was spending many hours caring for her and had become a media darling when some secretly taken footage of him feeding Dana soup and holding her hand while she slept went viral. A number of security personnel were fired after that, and the security company was being sued by Dotting Industry's legal team.

Dotting Inc. had declared a holiday for most of their employees while the board meetings and legal meetings took place. Discussions were on for some time, but no one wanted half-cooked details or partial truths leaking to the media.

I reached a bit late but was not surprised to see very few people but a lot of security. The security chief, Morgan, waved me in. I am the personal secretary for Ryan so he knew me by face. I have been working for Ryan for nearly two decades now. Now in my late 60s, I expected to retire and be replaced by a newer, younger secretary many years ago. But Ryan insisted I continue. "You are not a secretary for me, Trudy. You are more of an adviser to me. Sometimes I see you as a maternal figure," he said, and I was overwhelmed with emotions. He treated me very, very well. My salary was amazingly high for a secretary. He had sent me flowers on my birthdays and anniversaries and even gifted my husband Mark box seats for his favourite hockey team when he celebrated his 70th birthday. He will often ask me for honest opinions about people who will come to meet him.

When I reached the boss' cabin, I realised he was already in. He was busy gathering some books from the large bookshelf he had in his cabin with his back towards the door.

"Mr. Dotting." I said softly, in an almost motherly fashion, "I am so sorry for your loss." My eyes were moist. I was not affected much by Dana's death; I had never interacted with her directly, even once, during my work years. But I knew how much my boss must be hurting.

Ryan turned, his eyes red and wet but he had a sad smile on his face. "Thanks Trudy" Then he added, "I don't know how to reply. Everyone is offering their condolences, and to be honest, I am tired and lost," he sat down in his large chair, looking broken.

"It is alright, Mr. Dotting. You don't have to worry about what others are thinking or saying. You process your grief your own way." I put my hand on his shoulder, and suddenly Ryan started crying. I let him hide his face in my bosom and let him cry. Even I wept for some time for him. He let his anguish out, and I knew better not to say anything at the moment.

After a few minutes, Ryan looked up to my face, embarrassed. "You are not going to tell anyone about this. Are you?"

I tried to smile. "Has that ever happened, Mr. Dotting? I may not know new technologies well, but I know two old-fashioned words: confidence and loyalty."

Suddenly Ryan shook his head and stood up. "There is something I want to take off my chest, Trudy. Can you bring two glasses and that bottle of old rum, please?"

I was bewildered: "You want to drink now, Mr. Dotting. It is still morning."

"Yes Trudy. It is necessary, and I want you to join me as well. Please don't say no. I need a friend more than my secretary today." Ryan moved to the couch.

I brought two glasses and poured a small amount of rum in them.

We raised glasses and toasted Dana. That rum was too strong for my taste.

"I am sorry, Mr. Dotting. But I think one sip is enough for me. Also, if I am drunk, I don't think I can give you any advice," I said, certain my face showing how I felt.

"It is OK, Trudy." Ryan smiled and drank the rest of his glass in one sip. And he poured some more for himself.

"Trudy, do you know I met Dana when we were in high school? She was not rich at that time; her father was running a small tool and die-making workshop. Our school was full of future criminals and whores. You can laugh, but that's what it was. And in that school, I was trying to be a good person. And she was trying to be a successful woman. She was strong, motivated, and very planned. When I approached her, she immediately agreed to be my girlfriend. She said this way all other losers will ignore her. I was a stronger and fiercer person then--no one wanted to mess with my girlfriend. And that was the first time Dana used me for her benefit." His voice was suddenly bitter.

I was shocked and didn't know how to answer.

"You seem surprised, Trudy," he asked.

"Mr. Dotting. I don't know what to say. We never talked anything beyond work. I thought you and Mrs. Dotting were devoted to each other." I tried to form an answer.

"Oh, we were devoted, Trudy, and stop with this Mr. Dotting crap. I hate that name. Call me Ryan," he almost spat. He was getting drunk.

"Sure, Mr. Dotting. I mean Ryan," I responded.

"Sorry Trudy. I didn't mean to lash out. I am not drunk, let me assure you. I am just tired."

He drank one more glassful of bitter rum.

"Do you know, Trudy, that I joined the army after school? This rum was gifted to me by a buddy of mine," he said, looking carefully at the glassful of rum and then continuing. "You never knew, right? Hardly anyone knows about that. Joining the army was my way of starting on the correct path. My family had no money to pay for university anyway. I was good with machines, but studies cost money."

After another sip, "Dana promised to wait for me and that she will marry me once I was back. She was a strong and loyal girl. We both kept our words. Both waited for each other. My friends enjoyed several women. There were wonderful exotic girls throwing themselves at hot US army men when we were stationed overseas. I stayed loyal to my Dana. And I prayed she would stay the same way for me."

Another sip: "And she did. She was the most loyal girl anyone could ask. I came back, and there she was waiting for me. She asked me to join her father's company. I left the army--I was not brave or winning any medals anyway. I left my friends there, learnt tool-making machines, joined her father's company, and married her."

Another sip. I spoke, "Maybe you should stop drinking for some time, Ryan."

Ryan scoffed, "No, no, Trudy. Really, I am not drunk. This is just helping to talk. I don't have any friends now, so you have to be my therapist." He laughed and then continued, "Dana was wonderful after marriage. She was a great wife. We rented a house near a factory, and I worked while she studied for her management degree. Once she was done, she joined her father's company in sales."

He was thinking something. I was watching his face.

"I thought she married me out of love. But now I think she used me. She got an aspiring talented worker trying to prove he can do wonders even without a degree. One willing to work unlimited hours for 'family' company." He paused.

After a moment, he continued, "Then her father died in an accident, and she took over the company. Everything changed. She was perfect for running a company. She was smart and ruthless, unlike her dad. The company started growing exponentially. Even the Chinese competitors with slave prices could stand no chance against us. I was there to ensure quality was top-notch, and Dana ensured prices met any competitor. She could sweet talk absolutely anyone. She could play with anyone's mind."

"She made me engineering head. I had to dress sharply to maintain company image. All workers had to. I mean, we were just working at the workshop till some years ago. But now we had to push a sophisticated image. I had to keep my army tattoo's covered with full sleeves. We moved to a big house, maintained perfectly by maids, and we have a butler too. I was attending big events and press meetings with her."

"She had not changed her surname after marriage--I never asked her either. But then she asked me to take her surname. It is necessary to maintain the name Dotting as it is the company name and we have to pass it forward. And I agreed."

More sips of rum--this time angrily. "She continued to be the wonderful wife. Gave me two sons, Nicholas and Benedict. She chose the names. I wanted to honour our dads, but she wanted good names instead. They took Dotting's surname too. She used me again for continuing the legacy. Her legacy."

"Things were great in a way. She never looked at any other men; she was a billionaire and surrounded by so many way better, way smarter, and way hotter men. But she stayed loyal. She cared about kids. She cooked dinner herself for us when at home. Even when she was a billionaire. She was a loyal and good wife. She will always hold my hand when in public. Even in front of our sons."

"But she will not let me touch her otherwise. We didn't sleep together. We were in the same room, same bed--after all, we were happily married. But our work hours never matched, or she was travelling."

"You know I had selected another girl as my secretary, but Dana wanted me to give you a chance. She said you were perfect, and I quickly realised she was correct. Of course she was correct. You were the best secretary anyone could have asked. But then I realised she was just making sure I don't work with an attractive woman."

I laughed, "I am not attractive, Ryan?" He started laughing too.

"You know what I mean, Trudy. You are the best-looking woman. After Dana, of course. But you are a loyal married woman."

"Did you notice I compared even you with Dana? That's how I trained myself. She was not just the best wife but the best-looking one too. She kept any distracting women away from me. Do you know Trudy--I have been a celibate since Ben was born?" His voice became shallow, admitting that. I felt an extreme pity for him.

"Yes--that pity in your eyes. That's what I want to avoid for myself. I don't want anyone's pity, Trudy. Not even yours. I am too desensitised for that."

I held his hand and moved nearer to him.

"Then she felt sick, and soon doctors told her she didn't have too long. And I was genuinely crushed. She was my wife after all and my first and only love. But she was a strong woman. She was not perturbed. She made plans for everything. How shareholders will be informed, how the market and media will be informed, who will takeover, what will be done for our kids and estate, and what will happen to our workers. Plans for everything and everyone. Other than her husband. There was no plan for her husband. For me. I stayed there, taking care of her. She was loyal to me. I stayed loyal to her."

"It really moved her--my devotion during her last days. Some days back, she said she was proud of herself. Proud that she chose me. She was confident that I was the best fit for her. Even when she was dying, she was not proud of me but herself for being a great wife. She said she would set a perfect life for me after her. She said she has recommended my name to the board of directors as the next CEO. The reward for being the loyal husband."

"Oh, congratulations, Ryan," I started, but he raised his hand.

"Sorry Trudy. You are not going to be the secretary of the new CEO," he said.

I didn't feel bad for myself; I was very happy for him. "That is OK, Ryan. You don't need an old hag anymore once you are the CEO. You get a good-looking secretary this time."

He didn't join in my laughter.

"No Trudy. I am not taking over. I talked about it with the board of directors even before Dana's death. I told them she was delirious when making that call and that they should seek a different successor. We have already identified one who can continue Dana's legacy. I am leaving Dotting Inc.; the board has accepted the fact that I am too heartbroken to run such a vast empire."

"I have lived a very long life as the husband of Dana Dotting. I want to live the rest of my life as just Ryan. Our sons are grown up now. I am certain they will take over the company some day. Their respect for their mother far exceeds any respect for their father. Dana has left everything in trust for them. I don't want anything from her will. I have instructed my lawyer to see to that."

"When Dana died last night, I realised I had no one to talk to. I searched for my old army friends last night. Some are dead and for some I have no contacts. You were the only person I can talk to, so I came early." I felt proud to hear that.

"I will leave soon for the funeral. Do you know she already arranged for the funeral some weeks ago? Dana was very meticulous." He stood up. So, did I. Even after drinking so much, he seemed in total control.

"Trudy, you should leave the company too. I am being honest. I would like you to continue, but other managers are not going to like you. You are too old now. You deserve a break too." He smiled.

"Thanks Ryan. I stayed for you. I would have retired long ago had it not been for you. Mark (my husband) was asking to go on a cruise for many years now." I smiled and patted his hand again. I have talked about the cruise to Ryan many times earlier.

"About that." He opened a drawer and pulled out an envelope. "Here is a farewell gift from my side. It is an all-expenses-paid Mediterranean cruise for you and Mark. They go to some very sunny places. There is a check for 5,000 dollars as well. Buy lots of souvenirs. Don't say no. I insist."

I took the envelope with my eyes wet again. "Ryan, you are not going to do anything stupid?" I was worried.

"No Trudy. I am tasting freedom after so long. I am feeling stronger for the first time. You don't have to worry about me. Thanks for listening. I must be the most pathetic man in the world for seeking validation after confessing to having no spine, but I am not ready to die yet," he kissed my cheek and started leaving.

"Nonsense, Ryan. You have been hurting for a long time. Try to remember only the good parts of your life with Dana, and your pain will decrease." I tried to encourage him.

"That's what pains me more, Trudy. Dana was the perfect and loyal wife. But I think she was loyal only to herself. Now I wish that she had cheated on me when I was serving in Afghanistan, or even later. That would have given me an excuse to part ways," he smiled again and left.

I stood there for some time and then left too. There was nothing to do. Nothing to say.

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I came next day to put my notice. HR relieved me immediately. It seems they expected it. No one threw a goodbye party for me. Ryan's decision not to step up as CEO didn't make much flutter in the market--people accepted the reasoning that he was a heartbroken man. It in fact increased public sympathy for him. I didn't attend Dana's funeral; it was limited to close family and really big names. Press could manage a few photos, and Ryan looked genuinely sad standing next to his sons.

My cruise trip was very nice. I tried lots of short dresses; Mark liked her old lady in those. We are planning to do another one next year.

Dotting Inc. continues to grow. Ryan fell out of media coverage eventually. He didn't contact me again, and I, like a perfect secretary, am going to take his secrets to my grave. As far as I know, he never married again--he still remains loyal to Dana. He runs a car shop with a couple of his older army mates now.