PainLove - Bk. 03 - Ch. 27-32

Chapter 27

Helena grimaced. "The question about a child was a mistake. He was right about the time and place for a question like that. The frame, well, he has us, doesn't he? No point in searching for the switch, it's well hidden, he does nothing by halves."

Cathy asked, "Michelle, did you intend a golden shower?"

"Yes, it was on the list of suggestions."

"He's been clear for months it was a limit. Just a week ago he had a terrible experience on that very frame. It's why there's a cutout now being used. Whose idea was it to press the point right after his last experience?"

Michelle was surprised. "What? I'd have not gone in that direction had I known! It appears he kept me out of trouble." She turned to Helena. "You and Marion certainly didn't."

Upstairs, Rob dressed quickly. A long walk in the fresh air with his dogs would do him good. He was hungry, he hadn't eaten anything yet. In the kitchen he grabbed a chunk of bread and a bottle of water. He took the dogs out the kitchen door. This was a change to the familiar routine for the dogs. They stopped to look back to the house; he walked further and further. He had to change his setting, go to a place where the session this morning, the upcoming engagement party with its obligations, could be trivial and unimportant. What was the fuss about, signing a contract? He should have done it at a notary's office, then he wouldn't have to do what he was expected to do. He thought of horny women pushing their cunts at him for service, laughing at cost of his dignity. Even the ones he didn't service would know how many women were having him that evening.

He heard fast footsteps and loud panting behind him. It was Michelle, Boris running beside her. Nothing about her matched the Mistress who had been tormenting him only minutes before. In trousers, a thick jumper and a coat, she was just an ordinary woman with a dog.

"Helena told me this is direction you usually go. I missed the chance to ask you to wait for me."

Rob wasn't settled enough to filter his response. "I left by myself intentionally. I need to be alone for a time. I'm surprised Helena didn't understand that."

She looked surprised, but quickly recovered. "Excuse me, I do understand. Our session ended awkwardly, I didn't have an opportunity to help you cool down. Shall I do that now?"

"No."

Michelle gave him a nod and turned to take Boris in a different direction.

He looked at her retreating form with some satisfaction, aware his words had been petty revenge for the morning. He knew he'd hurt her feelings. Well, it was the risk she took. Piss off, he thought. He chuckled. Just never piss on me!

Apparently she was a friend of Helena and therefore likely Marion was her friend as well. That didn't automatically make him her friend, quite the contrary. Stalking him out dog-walking didn't speak well for her either. He walked on, wondering if Helena had known Michelle from before their chance meeting in Oxford.

When the dogs saw Boris walking away they wanted to go along but a command from Rob kept them at his heels. He turned in a direction directly away from Michelle.

When he thought it was far enough he started to throw sticks. He wandered, letting the dogs and his random throws choose his direction. After nearly an hour walking, he was feeling more settled.

With his dogs in a tugging match over a stick, Boris appeared, then Michelle. "If you still want me to stay away, I'll go, Rob."

"No, stay. Michelle, I'm sorry, I hadn't settled myself yet." He didn't want to be too rude to her.

"Ron, I'm sorry as well. Helping you return to the real world is my responsibility. I should have given you some after-care. The entire session was awkward, it ended suddenly, I didn't do some of the things I normally do." He didn't respond, he was looking about for sticks to throw. She looked at him oddly; after a pause she asked, "Don't you like me?"

"What sort of a question is that? Like you? We're just acquaintances. You don't know me at all, you can't possibly have a reason to find me special."

"I find you fascinating, I want to get to know you better."

"I'm engaged to Helena; soon I must sign a contract with three more women as not-quite-wives. I have far too many women in my life already. I don't want more, I want fewer. Is it necessary I like you?"

"I hope so. I expect Helena has already mentioned I am to be your training mistress. You and I will seek new paths. The lessons learned will come back to Marion and Helena. At least that's the plan Helena, Marion and I have settled on."

Still another surprise. Why hadn't Helena told him? "She hasn't said a thing. You've been set up again, at further cost to your credibility."

Michelle grimaced.

"You'll take me as your slave or whatever you want to call it?"

"Not slave. Play partner. Bottom. I'll take you as far as you want to go in your training. You'll like it, all of it, of that I am certain. We'll reach much more together than you ever could reach with Marion or Helena. Don't you understand? Think about this morning, you were really afraid my whip was going to leave marks. But what happened? A little flame of some brief pain, that's all. Yes, I gave you twelve blows with the cane. I imagine you hit the women much more severely. I do give pain, but in a subtle way."

He turned, looking her in the eye. He looked angry. "The total of all the blows with a cane to those four ladies, to anyone at all in my entire life, is exactly zero! Zero! Did you ask Helena?"

"I didn't see a reason to ask."

"So, what they say is take for truth and my words aren't credible. You're making it easy to decline your training.

"Listen, all of them can tell you they saw no marks on any of the others. My prank was too convincing. I've been hit, what, twenty strokes so far, for those canings that didn't happen! I'm sure there will be another three or four more episodes of retribution before Marion is satisfied."

"Let's get back to your training, Rob."

"No, Michelle. It simply isn't your place to discuss this with me. This is another stupid idea Helena cooked up, no doubt goaded by Marion. As usual I have no say in the matter. Helena must answer for this, not you."

"Listen Rob: last week their fear of how you might behave when something bad happens again was really amplified. It will be an accident or a misunderstanding, these little events are never intentional. Still, things can go wrong, especially since they are themselves novices. But you overreact. That's why they asked me to train you."

"Of course, they never take responsibility, those two. Listen, I didn't experience a little event last week. The event itself isn't why I left the house. I have another safeword with Helena, cruel. I made it perfectly clear, in fact Helena can play the video for you, if I say the word 'cruel,' she must stop everything and make it right, in the instant. When they were drowning me in their piss," he said each word with emphasis. "I called out cruel. They didn't stop and make it right, they didn't rescue me. No, they toddled away, laughing. They didn't even fully release me from the damned frame, just one hand. I was flat on my back with their piss filling my nose, in my lungs, trying to get myself loose. I didn't leave because of anger, Michelle. I stayed here that night; they had a chance to come to me and make amends.

"As for my leaving in over-reaction, I left the next morning because my absence is the defined consequence of not responding to me when I say cruel. But I agree this incident wasn't intentional, that's exactly what worries me most: how careless, how negligent they are."

Rob may have intended to smile, Michelle saw a grimace. "Now you know exactly why there's a cutout switch on power to the frame."

"Is that what happened?"

"Did they not tell you the story?"

"Just a summary. After-care is important, something I should expect them to know."

He looked at his wristwatch. "We've been out for a time, I'm getting cold, I expect the dogs are cold as well. Let's go back in."

As they neared the house, Rob glanced at Michelle. She seemed worried. He felt he had to clear the air with her. "Listen, Michelle, you seem disappointed we didn't click. It's not you. Those four ladies, still in the house, with their bloody stupid questions, are far more responsible than either you or I." After a pause, he added, "mostly Marion, the one who wanted you to do the watersports game on the frame with me."

"Thank you, I appreciate you saying it's okay between us. It's - it's something else."

"Anything I can help with?"

"I may ask for your help. It's just Helena surely thinks I owe her a big favor, giving me the opportunity to do a session with you."

She was shocked when Rob laughed. Seeing her hurt expression, he was quick to explain. "Your position may be better than you realize. She was only just lecturing me on what a big favor you were doing for her."

"Really?" Rob could see her relief.

Helena greeted them as they came in the kitchen door, a smile on her face. "Did you have a good chat?" Beckoning, she led them to follow her out into the main hall.

Rob answered as he came in. "We've had an interesting conversation, if we ignore the issues you've created for yourself."

If she heard his words, she didn't react at all. It seemed to Rob more likely she hadn't heard him.

"Michelle is no ordinary woman." Helena put her hand on Michelle's shoulder. "Over the past week, ever since you left us, she and I have talked a lot about how to get through to you, without you walking away. We discussed S&M, our relationship and our future. Michelle and Cathy are impressed with how this latest challenge has worked out. Rob, they're also impressed with how well you took the session."

Rob's expression hardened, he thought Helena was once again underestimating her role in creating the problem.

Helena's next words showed him otherwise. "When you return after a separation, Rob, you hear us blame you for deciding to leave, we say the necessary correction must come from you. Michelle caught us saying it; she has shown us the error in our thinking. First Cathy and now Michelle have really clarified for me how much I must learn. Marion and I are quite clear on what we've done wrong, we understand now what you mean when you say you leave because you've been pushed out."

"I caught you at it again," Michelle added. "As we were walking just now, Rob described his experience when you tested the frame. His experience was quite different from what I heard from Marion. I must say, Helena, you should spend more time and attention on after-care."

Helena frowned. "That's exactly what Rob said."

"And he was right!"

Chapter 28

Helena led them upstairs as the conversation continued.

"Rob, Michelle will join us here on occasion, to act as our private Supreme Mistress. I must admit, I have never seen anybody handle the whip like she did this morning. I could see it gave you the pain you wanted, yet she left hardly a trace. I want to learn her skills."

Helena's led them into her big room. "Let's shower together." In Helena's bathroom they all undressed. Rob was in the shower well before the women. The hot stream felt good, both to help relieve the lingering sensations from his session and to warm him after the long walk in the chilly morning. Helena and Michelle joined him, it seemed to them quite natural for the three of them to be together. This time, he found Helena's oversized shower crowded with just the three of them. In no mood to play, he left the shower shortly after the women stepped in.

Michelle joined them for lunch, making five women and Rob. He would have happily spent the entire meal without saying a word, but Helena had other ideas. "Rob, I understand your session with Michelle was wonderful, tell us about it."

He looked at her, puzzled. "I thought you were watching. You and Cathy each appeared quickly enough, you had to be at the door. What makes you say it was wonderful?"

"Sorry, Rob, I guess it was a leading question. After a session, Michelle has taught me, I must ask you about it. What was good about your scene this morning?"

Rob looked down. There was a long silence, then he dropped his soup spoon with a clatter into the bowl. "The reason I can't name anything good about the session is all the bollocks woven through it. I was asked questions long settled." He glared around the table. "I was asked bloody foolish questions that gave me a sour attitude, because some women of this group can't accept reality. I was asked questions you don't ask a man naked and in bondage."

"Rob, what questions like this were you asked?' Marion's voice had an air of innocence.

His eyes locked on hers. "I was asked about piercing again. If you want me to take a position in Singapore, just keep on that line. Yes, I have been looking into employment opportunities overseas."

Michelle had to defend herself. "Rob, it can't have been all bad. You enjoyed being whipped."

"Who told you I enjoy pain at all? I put up with a little pain because that's what a play session entails. I don't recall telling anyone I like it." It was time to put this caning business out in the open. "I know none of you like pain either. That's why none of you - none of you! - were caned at the end of your Saturday of punishment."

"No," Marion said. "You caned all of us!"

"Did I cane you that night? Tell me exactly how many times I hit you with a cane, Marion."

She didn't answer.

"Helena?"

Helena looked away, she too not responding.

"Cathy?"

Cathy's calmly met his angry eyes. "Rob you have never hit me and I never believed you hit the others. I thought the illusion was executed beautifully."

Kim gave him a smile. "I'm still angry you didn't hit me."

Michelle wanted clear answers. "Helena, Marion, did Rob cane you, yes or no?"

Helena said, "no" while Marion shook her head.

Rob returned his focus to Marion. "How many times have you attempted to cane me in response to my success at fooling you? How many of you have hit me with a cane for it, had another hit me, knowing I'd never hit you? I thought we'd agreed bringing up past events as an excuse to punish me in a session is a bad idea. And you wonder why I'm not sure I'll stay."

He stood, dropping his napkin on his chair. "Thank you for the exquisite session, Michelle. It was the absolute pinnacle of my experience as a submissive. I have every reason to expect no session after today will rise to the standard of this morning." He turned to Helena. "You've created more issues for yourself. It's for you to work them out." He left.

After a stunned silence, Michelle turned to Helena. "When communication is an issue, I generally start by asking why the submissive is not speaking up. It seems to me we have the opposite: Rob is forthright, even blunt. It appears you aren't listening when Rob tells you something important."

As they were leaving the lunch table, Rob reappeared, asking Michelle if she had time to talk. Helena was surprised when he asked her to join them as well in her library.

Once they were inside he closed the doors and immediately began to speak. "Helena, I've heard from Michelle you intend to send me to her for training. Once again, you act as though I have nothing to say about my own life. You decide what I want. You talk with others about me. Why can you not talk with me about these things?"

Helena suddenly stopped; she quickly sat on a chair as though shocked. Her face was suddenly grave.

"You've again surprised me, and made a promise you expect me to honor. I think this time I shall go out of my way to not keep your promise. You told me I must promise to obey. If you want obedience, try not surprising me with still another capricious decision.

"Here's the central point this time. I thought we were planning to marry so we could do this together. I was enjoying the notion you and I have a relationship. Now you've appointed someone else to stand in for you in part of our relationship. You push me away from you."

Marion looked from Helena to Rob. "What's going on?"

"You and Helena seem to have decided I must have a new Mistress. Still another damned mistress." He spread his arms. "When will you ask me if I am willing?"

"But Rob, you had such a good experience with Michelle this morning, I should think you'd be happy to train with her!"

Rob turned to Michelle. "Would you say I had a good experience with you this morning?"

To his surprise, she took his side. "Honestly, Helena, I don't understand how you can say Rob had a good time. He certainly never said it during the session, in point of fact he called me out multiple times for false premises. Premises," she added in a stern voice, "supplied by Marion and you."

She turned to Rob. "Rob, I am mortified I caned you as punishment for a caning they never received. Had I known, I'd have never done it. I'm grateful you told me the effect on my credibility. Further, I agree with you completely: we may choose to punish within a session, but we do not bring old baggage to a session as the reason for a punishment. I regret I didn't notice that premise myself. I prepared very carefully for you.

"The question, Rob, is did I give you a reason to avoid future sessions with me?"

"That's not the question, Michelle. This isn't about you, it's on Helena." He turned to Helena. "Am I an employee in your corporation, that you can delegate responsibility over me to someone else? Tell me why you aren't the one putting effort into our relationship. I've told you clearly, if there is someone to be called mistress, it should be you, my wife, no one else."

Michelle tried to take control of the discussion. "Rob, it's not that simple. Here's our thinking -"

Eyes still on Helena, he cut her off with a hand held up. "I asked Helena a question."

Helena looked away, then back to Rob. "I'm worried about making a mistake. I shall always worry my next mistake will make you leave forever."

He sounded more disappointed than angry. "Worry instead that not talking with me about it is your next mistake, already underway. Talk with me! Let's work on your worries together, don't send me out to a surrogate. I can understand mistakes, if you hit me too hard, I'll tell you. All you must do is acknowledge what I've said and we can move on. Helena, the mistakes that make me leave you, have been so much bigger than hitting me too hard! When you decided to piss on my face, you didn't just make a mistake. You violated a limit. It could have ended there, you could have made it right, but you failed to see to my safety. Again."

"We think it would be better if you learned to better fit your role independently, just as Marion and I must learn to better perform our role." Helena wasn't really responding to his questions.

"Not two days ago you said there were no plans for me. Now I learn you had already decided to send me out to be taught my role before you denied any plan to me. My dear, the hole you're digging around yourself keeps getting deeper."

Michelle stepped in. "I'll teach you to go a tiny bit further than you normally would go. You get used to it, then we take the next step. We would go on until it's safe enough for Marion and Helena to take part in these lessons. They need to start learning, too, working with you and I."

"And how many tiny steps further will you take?"

"We'll go no further than you let me. You set the limits, if we reach one I turn to another path to take you somewhere else. I'll never cross an absolute limit, Rob; with other limits I'll always talk to you first before trying to test them. If these are things you're afraid to try, we can, well, we can at least try them. We'll go slowly, but after each session I promise your orgasms will be so strong you'll think you're going to pass out."