Picking Strawberries

"Me, too. So, what prompted that little wake up treat?"

"I'm still sore from yesterday and I didn't want your mom to hear how loud I am." I laughed and gave him a proper good morning kiss.

Eve was in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee when we got there. She had set two bowls, a gallon of milk, and several boxes of cereal on the table.

"Ok. Rules." She set her coffee down. "You two are adults and I don't see any practical way to stop you from doing what you did yesterday, and probably this morning. I don't think I could if I wanted to. Bobbi, you can bring some things over and keep them here if you're going to be spending the night. I expect you to be respectful and not take advantage of my hospitality. If I ever come home and find you two outside your bedroom doing anything inappropriate, this deal is off. Got it?"

"Yes, ma'am." Steve looked at me. I just nodded as I sat down and poured myself a bowl of Fruit Loops.

We talked about the Intervention my family had staged and how I'd realized my new truth. I told her how I had discovered Bobbi was the real me, how Steve and I just seemed to fit together like puzzle pieces. She gave me a knowing smile.

I helped Eve clean up the kitchen while Steve took the trash down to the dumpster.

"He's compared everyone he's ever dated to his image of you. They never measured up. Please don't hurt him."

"I'll do my best, but I'm just figuring all this out. Right now, there's no one I'd rather be with. He's such a good guy, and he makes me feel so special. I just don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, much less this fall when I go off to school."

"That's all I can ask, I guess." She rinsed the last dish and handed it to me to dry.

"You got plans?" Steve moved my hair out of the way and kissed my shoulder.

"Some things to do this morning, but maybe you could come hang out by the pool this afternoon if you don't have to work." I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck, just staring up into his blue eyes. Things to do amounted to changing clothes, fixing my makeup and gluing my boobs back on. What I really wanted was some time by myself to think about everything. With me spending the night with Steve at his house and what his mom had told me, things were getting complicated, seriously complicated. I needed to make some important decisions.

Steve walked me out to my car. When he finished kissing me goodbye, I took a deep breath and looked up at him. "How many people have you dated before me?"

"Three. Two girls, one boy. I thought I was gay for a while, remember? I needed to know. Um, Greg was very passionate."

"But he wasn't me." He shook his head no.

"I love how you make me feel so special." My lips found his one more time. "I'll see you this afternoon, ok?"

When I got home, I didn't do anything I had planned. Instead, I went to my parents' bathroom, filled their jacuzzi tub, dropped in two of my mom's bath bombs and soaked in the bubbles. I hoped all the thoughts and worries swirling in my mind would somehow magically settle into something that made sense.

My life hadn't been so bad before. Sure, I had to hide my dressing up, and not having to worry about it was nice. Being Bobbi felt so right, but I hadn't stopped to think through all the ramifications. Probably most important, I didn't have a clue about the university's policies on transgender students.

And then there was Steve; I had never seen Steve coming. He made me feel so special, and I enjoyed the sex more than I ever thought I would, but I swear he was ready to propose to me right now. That was why I lied to him this morning. I needed a break. It was all getting to be too much.

In some ways, I felt like I was being reborn. In others, I felt like Bobbi was smothering me.

When I got out of the tub, I was on autopilot. Things like school, dorms, anything else I didn't even know I needed to consider. Things like my drivers' license, maybe officially changing my gender, maybe I'd have to. Did I want to? And Steve, what to do about Steve?

I smiled at myself in the mirror when I came out of the haze. I was sitting at my vanity, putting on my makeup. That I hadn't consciously thought about it was a good indicator.

For now, Bobbi was a given, so I needed to find some things out. I made a short list, starting with school and ending with STEVE.

I dug out my laptop and grabbed my phone, heading out on the deck by the pool to make calls.

It took a few transfers to get to the person I needed to talk to. She asked me things I hadn't even considered, therapy, that kind of stuff. Once I got to campus, I could use university student services.

She was excited about what I told her. A huge state university, of course it would be liberal, neo progressive, and have standing policies for what I was going through. She sent me a list of resources and updated my gender to non-binary on my paperwork, suggesting I wait until I talk to a therapist to make any more drastic changes.

"Hey, there you are." Rick's voice pulled me out of my funk. "We've been looking for you, wanted to make sure you were ok."

Rachael was with him.

"Um, yeah. I'm good. Went shopping yesterday but didn't buy anything, then hung out with Steve for a while. He might come over later."

"You sound distracted, like something's bothering you. Are you really, ok?" Rick came over and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Do you remember that time my mom took us to pick strawberries?"

Rick nodded, letting out a little laugh. "Too much of a good thing?"

"Maybe." I cringed. "Especially Steve. I like how he makes me feel, but he's been crushing on me for years. Sometimes I think he already wants to marry me. I'm just nervous, is all, I guess. Maybe a little scared. I never thought about liking guys, and I already..."

Rick immediately jumped to the correct assumption.

"He didn't force you, did he?" I shook my head no.

"I wanted him to, and I liked it a lot. I like him a lot. It's just that Friday this was a hobby." I motioned to myself. "Now look at me."

"Strawberries?" Rachael came over next to Rick.

"We tried to eat them all in one sitting. It wasn't pretty." Rick filled in the details.

"Look, Bobbi, it sounds like Steve is what you're worried about. So slow things down a bit. Don't see him every day. Take a break if you need to." Rachael knelt beside me.

"But you and Rick..."

"We've been dating longer than Steve has been crushing on you. Besides, we don't spend all day every day together, either. It feels good when someone wants to be with you, when they make you feel important, doesn't it?"

"Yeah." I smiled and nodded. "And I never had that before. Maybe that's why it makes me nervous."

"I think Rachael's right. Just slow it down a little. Steve seems like a good guy and it's obvious he's all about you, so go with it for a while. Right now, Rachael and I came over to kidnap you and take you out for BBQ, so text your boyfriend and tell him to meet us at Green Mesquite. We can talk more on the way, but I'm starving."

Rick and Rachael settled me down, telling me not to freak out. It was normal in a new relationship to go overboard a little. "Just slow it down." Rick looked back at me and smiled as we pulled into the BBQ joint. "You're the girl. You can do that."

I felt a little better, and it made sense. When you're careening downhill out of control, the first thing you do is tap the brakes.

I got this. Yeah, I can handle this. I thought to myself while Rachael and I grabbed a table and Rick went to order massive amounts of cooked meat.

And then I felt it, a warmth, an energy filling me like hot tea on a chilly morning. I recognized it immediately. It didn't surprise me when Steve's fingers interlaced with mine as I reached for my shoulders. Leaning back against him, I looked up into his smiling face. "Hey."

He leaned down and kissed me. So much for tapping the brakes. I wanted him to take me right there.

"Be right back." Steve went to help Rick with the food.

"I like the way he makes me feel so much. That's what scares me." I bit my lip and looked at Rachael.

"Strawberries." Rachael winked at me.

"Strawberries." I laughed.

I didn't really have to do anything. Today, it just worked out. We ate and talked and laughed. We saw a few of the guys from the team and they all said hi, giving Steve an odd look for the way he was treating me, but they didn't say anything.

Rick and Rachael went back to the house with us. We all put our suits on and hung out at the pool for a while until Steve's phone rang. It was his mom. Someone had called out. He was going to have to go to work and probably close.

I did my best to make him late, kissing and making out with him next to his car, but he finally escaped. He said he would call me tomorrow when he got up.

Rick, Rachael and I ordered a pizza and watched a movie. They ended up spending the night again. Sometimes I felt like they should just move in. I mean, Rick had his entire house to himself, and he was bringing Rachael over here to have sex.

I knew that were just checking on me, and I didn't mind the soundtrack too much since it reminded me of Steve. It just made me laugh when I thought about how impractical it all was for them.

Climbing into bed, I thought about how lucky I was to have people in my life that would go so far out of their way for me. I thought about how fast things were changing specifically because of those people. And I thought about Steve. I wanted him here with me right now, but the thought of how badly I wanted him scared me.

It was two hours later in California. This time, I called my mom.

"How did you know?" I knew she'd just know what I meant.

"Bobbi, it's hard to describe. Why don't you tell me about it? It's you and this Steve, right?"

"It's crazy. I know that. In my brain, I tell myself it's just new, different, and it's so nice. But in my heart... We went for a barbecue today and he was the last one to get there. I felt him when he came up behind me like we had this kind of connection thing. I just knew he was there. It was warm and comfortable. It was just right. And the way he makes me feel wanted. Mom, I'm scared. There are so many changes, so many things going on right now. It's only been a few days."

"But you two have known each other for a few years, right? It's just changed since he found out about Bobbi. Am I right?"

"Yes, and no. He's had a crush on me since he first saw me at football practice three years ago. We barely ever talked. He only reached out when he saw me Friday night as Bobbi."

"And Sunday morning he was in your bed, naked?"

"Mom, please don't be mad, but I liked it a lot." Her deep sigh spoke volumes.

"You like strawberries a lot, too, if I remember correctly."

"That's what Rick said." I laughed.

There was a brief pause. My mom sighed. "I was at a party. I got a little tipsy and spilled a pitcher of beer on this guy I'd never met. He looked up at me and smiled. There was no anger, no rage. He just smiled. I let him take me home. In the morning, I found him sleeping on my couch. He could have done anything to me, and I wouldn't have complained, but he didn't. I just knew. I never let him go."

"So, you're telling me to dump a pitcher of beer on Steve's head?" I laughed. "I don't think they sell pitchers anymore."

"You and your dad and those stupid jokes. I love both of you so much. What I mean is, slow down if you need to, but don't be afraid of how you feel. Trust your instincts. We'll be home in a few days. I can't wait to meet my new daughter. Your dad, too. You know, you could talk to Steve about this."

She was right. It was the most obvious answer. "I love you, mom. Drive safe on the way home."

I still couldn't sleep.

I woke up with someone cuddled behind me. Damn, it felt nice. I snuggled closer and pulled his arm tighter around me. "How did you get in here?"

"Rachael let me in. I can leave if you want me to."

"No, you can't." I hugged his arms tighter. "I don't want to get up yet."

Steve kissed my shoulder. "I'm good right here." He was not making things any easier, and right now, I just didn't care. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander.

He was here now, in my bed, in his underwear. I could feel it. I was as close to him as I could get, wearing nothing but the jersey I had stolen from him he didn't know about yet. It had ridden up above my bare ass, and I knew he could feel that. What better time?

"Do you think this is happening too fast?" I rolled onto my back and looked up at him.

"What's too fast? I've wanted this for three years."

"But I haven't. I didn't even know this existed last week. Sometimes, like right now, this is all I want. Sometimes, I think about it, and I get scared to death. It's all so intense, so amazing, almost like a drug. What if I'm addicted? What if it's all just a fantasy and I wake up and it's wrong?"

"My mom always tells me to listen to my heart. What does yours tell you? Is this right now good or not? When we're together, is it good or not? When I'm not with you and you close your eyes and think about me, is it good or not?"

"Good. It's all good."

"Then what's too fast?"

"When I was younger, my mom took me and Rick to pick strawberries. We must have picked a whole bushel. When we got home, Rick and I rinsed them off, poured a ton of sugar on them, and tried to eat all of them. I've never gotten that sick. I couldn't eat strawberries for like three years after that."

"Maybe there's a reason I'm pushing so hard."

"What would that be?"

"Maybe I don't want you to forget about me."

"Steve, we've got all summer, and we're both going to State. We've got all kinds of time."

"I'm moving next week. I'm enrolled in summer school so I can work with the quarterbacks, unofficial seven on seven stuff."

"But you told my dad you'd be here. That it was your plan."

"It is my plan. My plan is to never let you go, but we're going to be apart for a while and I want as much of you as I can get before I have to leave."

"Damn you, Steve." I pulled his lips to mine and sucked his tongue into my mouth. I could slow things down next week.

Steve was in my bed when my parents got home. Fortunately, he had his cock buried in my throat when we heard the door open and my mom call my name, so all he had to do was cum and get dressed. I was a bit of a mess, so while he straightened up my room, I ran to the bathroom and got in the shower.

"You must be Steve." I heard my mom's voice.

"Yes, ma'am. Nice to meet you. Um, Bobbi's in the shower. Typical girl, always takes forever." He laughed. I could see the look on my mom's face from the bathroom. Stereotypes like that didn't sit well with my mom, but she could get ready in ten minutes and look like a million bucks.

'Good job, Steve.' I shook my head and got out to dry off. He was right, though. I loved the entire process of getting ready. Gluing on my boobs, doing my makeup, slipping on my panties, tucking my bits back out of sight, and nestling those boobs into a bra. The transformation to Bobbi was magic. Becoming me was priceless.

"I like what Rick did with your room." The door opened and my mom stepped in. "Oh, my..." I was leaning forward, looking in the mirror, pressing my lips together, setting my lipstick like Rachael had taught me. Simple white cotton bikini panties with a bralette, nothing exotic or fancy, but I knew what my mom saw, and she was seeing it in person for the first time. "Oh, my, Bobbi, you're beautiful."

"Thanks." I turned to face her, my heart bursting with emotion. "Y'all are early." I smiled sheepishly.

"I get the impression it's a good thing we weren't any earlier. Weren't you going to slow things down?"

"About that. He's leaving for school this week. Summer school, football stuff, so..." I bit my lip, my face begged for her to understand.

"Well, get dressed. Your father is taking us all to breakfast. He's waiting in the car. Just so you know, I'm almost positive he's checked to see if the engine on that Jeep in the driveway is warm, so be ready." She smiled that mom smile and wrapped me in a massive hug.

Steve and I were heading for Enchanted Rock and then to Fredericksburg for lunch, so I had on some shorts I knew my dad wouldn't approve of. He gave Grace that look every time she wore them. I was sure it would be the same for me. A tank top, and my hiking boots. I grabbed my purse, took Steve's hand, and followed my mom downstairs.

My dad was standing next to the car when we came outside. The look on his face when he saw me was hard to describe. Compassion and caring, acceptance and pride; they were all things I had seen on his face before, but there was something different. It was more. Deeper, stronger, more intense. Sure, the shorts got a raise of his eyebrow, but the way his eyes enveloped me, the love and caring I felt emanating from him, almost made me cry.

"Hi, Daddy." I smiled. He reached out, and I ran to his arms.

"I love you, Bobbi." He relaxed his hug and put his hands on my arms, moving me away from him so he could look at me. "You're so beautiful. I just wish we'd seen this sooner, for your sake."

Breakfast wasn't the inquisition I expected. In fact, we just talked about what had happened. I told them about Rick and Rachael's intervention, the spa, going out for pizza. We talked about Grace and her new apartment. They told me the details of their quick trip to California and back. Dad and Steve talked about football, and school, and finally, exactly what the hell he was doing with me, and why his Jeep had been in the driveway overnight. Ok, it was still a little of an inquisition.

Steve didn't mince words, and it blew me away. "I love her. I have since I first saw Rob at football practice." The sincerity on his face gave me goose bumps. "I knew then, and it hasn't changed. I just never had the guts to do anything until I saw Bobbi. She is all I think about. Where she is, is where I want to be. Rob or Bobbi, I don't care, I want her, no that's not right. I need her in my life to make it complete. I want to be better every day; for her."

Holy fuck. Nobody said a word for almost five minutes. Utterly stunned, he had confirmed my suspicions. I had felt it, but to hear it, and to hear it like that. My eyes met his. Tears welled, happy tears. I wanted to run away. I wanted him to take me home and make love to me. My mom smiled and nodded. I looked at my dad. For the first time I could remember, he was speechless.

"And you think it's ok to sleep with my daughter in my house?" There was an edge in my dad's voice. He was trying to regain control. The way he emphasized 'my daughter' made me smile.

"Roger, we talked about this." My mom felt it too. She reached over and put her hand on my dad's arm. My dad sat back in his chair.

"Mr. Adams, I told you how I feel about Bobbi." He had this calm determination on his face when he looked at my dad. Steve wasn't backing down. "I have nothing but respect for you and your wife, but if we're honest, and I think you'll agree, Bobbi and I are adults. What we do in private is between us and should stay that way." Boom! Steve had balls, cojones, and big ones. He just told my dad to fuck off.

"Roger." My mom's voice was more intense this time.

My dad took a deep breath and looked straight at Steve. "She will always be my little girl. Just remember that, Steven."

That. That was the difference in the way my dad looked at me. I was his little girl, and he needed to protect me. I was giddy.

"Yes, sir." Steve nodded and tried not to smile.

The two most important men in my life hadn't declared outright war over me, but right now, my dad probably didn't like Steve very much. I could tell, though, they respected each other, and that was probably more important. I couldn't stop smiling. This was what it felt like to be loved, to be in love.