What Does Orgasm Feel Like?

Dear ladies,

I'm curious to see if someone else feel the way I do.

This is not a story, just sharing some thoughts I'm having tonight, about my experiences with sex, and my own personal physical sensations.

Can other ladies relate to that?

Of course, men can read as well ;)

In the beginning of my sexual experiences, I used to not like intercourse much. It was often downright painful, probably due to some medical condition I was going through, and of not knowing my body very well.

If I touched myself, I would just rub my clit, or grind against pillows or towels. That was the only pleasure I knew; which feels fine, I mean, I just not consider it the greatest pleasure anymore.

When I was with my partner, also, I focused on my clit. Intercourse ranged from being annoying, to painful, to just nothing. That- I don't know if I even realized it, back then- but always made me feel disconnected from my partner.

Because, of course, I was not feeling any pleasure from the act itself.

I enjoyed it when my partner used his fingers on me, inside of me; those were the only times when I actually felt pleasure.

Talking to some friends, I found out that I was not the only one to feel that way. I also did my research online, and found confirmation of my beliefs- so, that it was normal to enjoy clit rubbing and fingering, over PIV sex.

I guess for years, that was my truth.

I really loved my partner at the time- or at least, I thought I did.

Intimacy was pleasurable and fulfilling for many different reasons, but not for the actual orgasm itself.

I liked the intimacy, the cuddles, the kisses, the occasional fingering, the feeling of being close to the person I loved. The feeling of giving pleasure to the person I loved.

I didn't think there was much more than that.

Orgasms were briefs and "sharp" occurrences, where the pleasure was concentrated in my clit, and disappeared soon after I was done. It was fine, again, like, I don't know.... Like scratching somewhere that itches terribly, and feeling relief from it.

A few years later, I came to terms with what I really liked (and still do).

I like bdsm-flavoured things, power play, and pain.

Just the hint of some power play, of having my hair pulled, of someone digging their nails into my hips, to keep me in place...

God, I feel myself shiver only by thinking about it.

I have always had a strange relationship with pain; I was very depressed, in my teens. I used to hurt and cut myself.

I've always kind of secretly found something sexy in pain, but, I don't know. I was such a sweet, "good girl" on the outside, that I felt it wasn't even in my right to voice my feelings.

It was something I didn't share with others, just a relic of my troubled youth.

But then, I was a proper young lady; I wore flower blouses, and pink midi skirts; I was a perfect student, a sweet, loving girlfriend and then wife; the daughter every parent might want.

If I wore as much as some lace underwear, I felt almost guilty.

It was not for me.

If I asked for a different position- I never liked missionary much- I felt ashamed.

I had thought about pulling my legs up, sometimes, onto my husband's shoulders; but he didn't suggest it, and I was too shy to ask.

Let alone ask for something less "vanilla" than that.

Sex had become more of a way to pleasure my partner, or to feel "secure". Rather than something I did because I enjoyed it.

Was that situation fulfilling for him, anyway? Considering what happened later, probably not;

One day, out of the blue, he informed me he was going to end our marriage and leave.

I never saw him again.

Of course, it was not a happy time for me.

But thinking back about it, it was probably for the best, for both of us; I couldn't really be the person he wanted me to be, nor the other way round.

After that, I started having relationships where I was more vocal about my preferences. I needed to find ME, and to start the process of living again without my husband.

In the beginning, I used to think I was crazy, and people would run the hell away from me.

But as I found out, that wasn't the case; most men actually found it a huge turn on. I felt like there was a contrast between my "good girl" appearance, and then, asking for rough sex, or asking to be bent over and spanked, hard;

or to have that nice pen you're writing with, shoved up my butt, before you push me down on the table and fuck me...

So then, yes, I entered a new era.

An era of "sexual awakening", where I discovered the beauty of being mentally turned on by a situation; to the point where I could orgasm without barely the need to touch myself.

This newfound state of arousal brought me to enjoy penetrative sex more. I was so turned on, that everything felt wonderful, even having a penis inside of me.

It was maybe more the thought of it, than the actual physical sensation. I liked the feeling of being stretched, of being "used". I started to feel more sensitive inside.

I found out a few things I was probably doing wrong, in my early and mid 20s, that led me to not enjoy sex at all. Was I the only one, so naïve??

1) First, as I said, the lack of a real mental turn on. That was 90% of it.

2) Second, not enough lubrication. We used saliva a lot- I was too shy to go and buy a real lube. Then, eventually, I did: and everything started feeling much, much better.

3) Focusing only on the first part of my vagina, and my clit. Because penetration felt slightly painful, I'd favour positions where the penetration wasn't too deep, thinking it would reduce the pain.

Then I realized, it actually felt slightly painful right at the entrance, but then got better deep inside of me.

Does anyone else feel the same??

I used to read that the most sensitive spots for women were clit, and G spot, and that wasn't located too deep inside. Also, some friends of mine confirmed that they preferred clit/G spot stimulation (also with fingers).

Instead, I started to experience a deep, different kind of pleasure, when the penetration was really deep.

It felt like a spot deep inside of me, that I had never reached before; that gave off a completely different feeling than my clit did.

It felt deep into my belly, and soft, warm, diffused, intense, and somewhat emotional; not sharp, quick, and localized, as a clit orgasm did.

It felt like a completely different thing. It also felt more "natural" and effortless when coming, while clit orgasm required some more "effort" on my part (rubbing and rubbing and pressing against it, panting and sweating, and getting my heart rate up... until it finally peaked, and then, after a couple of jolts of pleasure, it was over. It was more like running a marathon).

I have read online, and found some women who described vaginal orgasms VS clit orgasms that way.

I had just a couple of friends that I could talk to, about those things, and they didn't seem to share the same experience, of these 2 completely different sensations. They said they "enjoyed" penetration, but they almost always needed clit stimulation to orgasm.

For me, experiencing that feeling did change my perspective on sex, I must say.

It was something totally different, something I couldn't have even imagined, when I was with my husband.

Seriously, I did not know that my vagina was capable of that.

It was something that really led me to start considering sex more than a way to "scratch an itch", or simply a way to pleasure my man.

Or a way to feel "desired", and "used", where the biggest enjoyment was the situation and the fantasy.

Now, I was placing more value on the actual physical sensation itself; a sensation that was deep, intense, fulfilling.

My whole perception of sex changed, I don't know how to explain. It felt even a more "noble" act, something that really opened up some deep parts inside of ourselves... parts that I didn't even know existed.

After those experiences, I must say, I didn't think there was much else to discover.

But I'm a more confident, experienced 30-something woman now; I know much more about sexuality than I ever thought I could (even though sometimes, I feel like that shy young girl is still haunting me, somehow).

Anyway, I'm not shy of experimenting also with different sex toys now, both anal and vaginal.

At first, I used the toy to mimic the sexual encounter I could be having with a man; so, I used to push it in, and pull it out (with a lot of good lube), trying to hit deep, where I knew I liked it (I still like to rub my clit sometimes as well, but that's definitely not the biggest part of the show anymore).

While playing with my dildo, I came across another somehow groundbreaking discovery- at least, for me. I realized that the sensitive part of myself, is, yes, deep (that, I think, is my cervix), but then, also the whole front wall of my vagina.

I had already understood that I liked penetration to be slightly angled to hit the front; but I was always bound to that in-and-out motion that I had learned. I didn't know anything else, so I tried to "hit" the areas with hard thrusts, the same I did with a sexual partner.

Then, I started to realize that it felt incredible it I didn't move the dildo in and out. I kept it always inside, and I pressed forward rhythmically, with the whole length (towards my belly), then, in the end, just kept it pressed against the front wall of my vagina.

I don't know it you can understand by my description;

let's say, if I'm lying on my back, I push upwards (towards the ceiling) so the whole length of the dildo presses up against the front wall of my vagina; I don't do any in-and-out motion. Same thing, if I'm lying on my tummy: I press downwards, towards the bed.

And guys....

The first few times, I thought I fucking died! XO

Something happened, that I couldn't even explain. I couldn't even say if it was happening inside of my vagina, or everywhere in my body.

At first, the pleasure grew to unbelievable heights; the whole front wall of my vagina feeling as swollen as if it was going to explode, and on fucking fire.

Then I had a moment of like, realization... I don't even know how to describe it.

I just felt alive. Like, hyper lucid, and as if I was living in a different state of existence for a few moments.

It was such a transcendental feeling, I couldn't even describe it as physical pleasure, it was a revelation.

A sense of being in a different state of consciousness, than you normally are.

When I came down from it, I was speechless. I wasn't even panting and sweating, I was just in peace.

I felt complete.

Happy.

Fulfilled.

It was a revelation, as I said; something so intense, that even my many many orgasms I had before, couldn't match that.

Now, I must say I cannot always bring myself to that:

- first, I seem to have a refractory period, like, I need at least 24 hours to experience that again (sometimes more).

If I have sex before, it can feel good, but not that level of amazingness. I need to stay off of it for a while, to really feel that great.

- And second, I also noticed that it is much easier to get there with a toy.

I tried to figure out a way to reach that kind of stimulation during PIV sex, but I haven't found a way (yet), even though penetrative sex still feels good to me.

But often, I feel like the penis just "slides" against my walls, not really pressing against them, as I would like;

I try to contort myself into making it angle, so that it hits against the front wall of my vagina, but the pressure is always "unstable", and hard to get, while with the toy, it's so easy.

I tried also with fingers (mine or partner's), and it feels nice, but the pressure is much less intense, and much less diffused, than what I can get with a dildo, the whole length of it pressing against me.

So... I almost feel sorry about it sometimes, because it is making me feel disconnected from sex, again. It is like, even if I enjoy it, somewhere in the back of my mind I know, that it could be better.

I am not really "in love" right now; I guess if I was, it would be more enjoyable to just share the experience with the person you really love, the mental connection, the kink, and all... But it is like, now, when I'm starting to know someone, if the physical sensation is not "top notch", I kind of "resent" that is not as good as I know it could be. It makes me feel less attracted to the person I'm having sex with, also. I'll see what the future holds, if I'll ever meet someone who I can really share these thoughts with.

...

For now, those were my thoughts for tonight.

I have taken you on a journey with me, actually longer, and more personal than I had planned it to be.

But ladies, if some of you read through it, I am too curious.

What do you think? Did any of you experienced anything similar?

How does clit orgasm feel for you? How does vaginal orgasm feel for you?

Do you ever use toys, the way I do? Have you found out other amazing ways to create pleasure for yourselves and your partners?

I must say, our bodies really are mysterious things, capable of giving us incredible sensations- that surely apply to both males, and females!

(And if any men have read through this, you can share your experience with us as well! How does orgasm feel for men? How do different types of stimulation feel? I would be so curious to be inside a man's body like, one day in my life, and try it...)

In any case, good night everyone- and good experimentations, if you're dedicating yourself to it, whether with your partner, or on your own ;)