Zhane Ch. 06

Chapter 6

Kin or Ken

"Whom am I?"

Those were the first words she spoke to me. Timid words that masked the frustration that came with mild existential despair. What would have been your reply?

Would you have displayed your cynicism and cursed at the world? Or ignored those vivid words as if a figment of your imagination?

I did neither. Our second selves were always simple whatness, if not mockery of a mind with free will. But after the ritual it changed, and it started with a conundrum garbed in a simplistic three word question. To articulate what it means to be conscious of one's self was beyond me.

But she needed to be nursed. So I opened myself to my alter ego. It was like opening a Pandora's box to her. I poured my all and filled her psyche with dread fascination. Joyous and dreadful moments. Insecurities and hopes.

After, she went silent. Why? I couldn't say. Maybe she couldn't understand, and wasn't as enlightened as I hoped.

Beside my new-found ego-mate, everything had returned to normal(well, mostly). I now lived alone on a temple near the lake because Wisdom-Keeper Ashta insisted he constantly check on my progress and travelling to the hillocks is a tall order for a senior.

From his behaviour it was clear he was wary of El's intentions. He tried to mask his true feelings, but I had grown a sixth sense of sniffing out a person's emotions. I observed their speech patterns, mannerisms and subtle bodily ticks.

Sadly, El and I rarely see each other now. His duties lay far in the mountainous terrain. I only had the temple's keeper, Ashta, to keep me company.

He wasn't much of a conversationalist but his quiet demeanour and practicality added to his wisdom. With Ashta I didn't need to scout for kilometres nor forage for my meals. My chores now consisted of housekeeping.

Though my tasks were now less gruelling, at first I found them a drag. I yearned for the outdoors' melodic ambience and woody scent.

And without El the days had passed by tediously, and lapsed to a fortnight. On his last visit something was off about him. It was an instinct I ignored and supplanted with the joy of seeing him.

I wish I had been more outspoken; maybe it would have lessened the burden he had carried. Though, knowing him, I doubt he would have told me.

Presently, I was left to my devices. Ashta had gone on a short pilgrim in the outskirts of Devinea. By now, I had gotten a little used with being alone.

I even started traditions of my own: I have a picnic every morning at the pier, the lake has this mysterious ability to rejuvenate my body and psyche; mid-afternoon, I do the laundry and hang it to dry on trees; evenings, I take a bath on the same lake which lessen my nerves.

But today, I was depressed and had no strength of will for any tradition. Even the usually mesmerizing sunset-orange tinged, evening sky evoked no awe. I slogged down a trod of my creation to the backyard--passing the cylindrical monument of sapphire walls and dry, caramel-gold thatch-roof--and entered the backyard garden.

The garden was small, simple, and cut halfway by a stone pathway. One half planted with funnel shaped flowers. Delicate and vivid blue. A willowy tree dominated the other half. Its mopping branches and leaves a brilliant sun-yellow.

I brewed a soothing tea, then enjoyed it on the backyard and let my eyes wander the garden. On such lonely moments, I thought of whom I was and struggled to define myself.

I sighed. "War-dog, I guess what we are depends mostly on those around us."

"Those around us?" she echoed.

Her reply stunned me. Mostly because I didn't believe she would reply.

"We are social creatures," I began after a pregnant pause. "The complexes of relationships such as communications, common goals and many more add value and indirectly define us."

"I don't understand."

Frustration filled those words.

"It's okay," I inspired. "You don't have to understand, I too find it difficult to get a sense of my emotions."

War-dog went silent once more, but the conversation had lightened my gloomy day. Everyone needed to be of some importance to their companions, and we underestimate the emotional toll of loneliness.

"Zhane, who are you speaking to?" icily wondered a stranger.

My senses rattled. I stood up, franticly scouted the garden then whiffed the air to no avail.

Am I hallucinating? I wondered.

They tittered.

"Show yourself," I commanded.

A figure materialized under the shade of the willowy tree. They were strikingly robed in a colourful flowing dress covered by a woollen cloak. A scarf was artfully wrapped around their head and a web of golden, wooden beads hung on their neck and waist.

"Who are you?" I murmured.

My eyes narrowed, heart beat became a chaotic motif that boiled my blood hot. Primal instinct urged me to lunge and tear them apart.

My reaction alarmed me. I had never had such a reaction to anyone. Granted, I haven't met many individuals, but such allure of violence had always been reserved for when I was under the moon's influence.

"She smells of malice," warned War-dog.

I glared at my guest who took off her headscarf. Her caramel skin glittered, eyes deep abyss of hazel and her lips full and vivid pink. She had an unrestrained animal magnetism. El's opposite.

"I'm El's acquaintance," she announced, her voice booming with aplomb.

I nodded. "Oh, I'm Zhane... but am sure you know that."

She smiled as she strode towards me. "You would be correct."

She paused as her eyes scanned the garden. "I expected the shrine to be a dump."

I sheepishly rubbed my nape. "Ashta always says, 'Cleanliness is close to godliness.'"

She crackled. "His devotion to Gods of far away lands has always been peculiar."

I smiled and nodded out of politeness. El had briefed me on the competing schools of thought in Divinea. Basically, the region was fragmented into complex tribal spheres of influence and autonomous zones. Each on a race for superiority over culture, land, and resources.

By her colourful robes I gathered she was part of the Lowland tribes. Which further puzzled me on her reasons for travelling across the territory.

"I guess El chose you well," she examined me. "You will certainly grow into something."

I arched my brows. "Thanks."

She beckoned me to her at the centre of the garden. I cautiously shuffled towards her but halted an arms length away.

She scowled as her eyes fixed on my face. "Don't be afraid."

My eyes fell, her glare too unbearable. "What's your name?"

"Sina," she said. "Your demeanour is far from a killer, but looks can be deceiving."

I squinted at her. "How may I be of service? I know you didn't travel this far for a chat."

Her face darkened. "Very well, Kin--apologies--Ken Zhane."

The chilly change in the air was abrupt and forbade bad news.

"I am a Wisdom-Keeper from the Ma'Nwa Tribe. The Chieftains have sent me to train you."

"Train me? Why and for what? Where's El?"

"It's standard for a new Caretaker."

"New Caretaker? Isn't there only supposed to be one?"

"There will be an opening," she bluntly said.

My eyes dilated as her words made everything clear. "Is El okay?"

"El is powerful, but his weakness is that he can't accept things as they are," she paused and eyed me as my face distorted into a scowl. "What matters is the future, learn from his mistakes and become a better Caretaker."

My chest heaved and burned. "Where is he?"

"His fate has already been sealed, best you forget you ever knew him."

"Is he..."

"No, not yet anyway," she nonchalantly said. "He will be executed in a month, after proper conduct has been followed. It would have been decent to behead him quickly, but though of low blood, he is greatly respected by the Chiefs who didn't take pleasure in dealing such a punishment."

I gritted my teeth. Her wolfish attitude rubbed me off. But what to do?

"Where will he be buried? For all he has done for me, paying my respects is the least I could do."

I didn't know where El was, so I needed to gather as much information from her as I could. He needed my help, and it didn't matter to me if I stood no chance. I had to do what I can.

Sina nodded. "He requested to be buried on a hill overlooking the Great Dulh river."

I faintly smiled. "Thank you."

El's requests was strange. I always assumed his final resting place would have been the mountain foot. The river was the largest in Divinea, meandered the Lowlands and was an asset in the trade between Divinea and the region that bordered east, Rēoweland.

This could be a clue to his location, I gathered.

The Lowlands were populous. El had educated me about all the chiefdoms and only one was adjacent the river. It was the largest, ruled by a hot-headed young chieftain, Ma Sha Nwa. He may or may not be there, but it was a shot and I wasn't going to miss it.

"I can hear the gears turn in your head."

I shook my head. "Um, no, Wisdom-Keeper. I'm shocked, Ken El is still a friend. If you were in my place you would feel the same."

"Understandable. I would love a warm beverage."

"Forgive me, I finished the last of my tea leaves just now. I can get some near the lake. A delay of 30 minutes isn't too much I hope."

"No, forget it. I would rather not trouble you."

"I've been starved of company for the past week." I forced a warm smile. "What kind of young man passes time with a pretty woman."

She clicked her tongue though her lips formed a thin smile, "El has certainly rubbed off on you, you got twenty."

I went into the shrine. It was a single hall, runes were painted on its circular wall, floor tiles bark-gold and hexagonally shaped, and the frame of pine beams above faint blue.

The monument was kept mostly empty, but there was a storage shed by the front-yard. I went through the arched front door, made my way to the shed, and rummaged it for all my basic needs. I didn't have the opportunity to think, so I grabbed a sack and started to shove all I could. It didn't occur to me to change my clothes. I only had my loincloth cinched to my waist. I threw the sack over my shoulder and headed out the shed to grab a tunic.

"I don't think that is necessary, juvy?"

I whipped my head sideways and saw Sina leaning against the monument's door frame, arms folded.

"I had to try, he would do the same for me."

She bellowed with amusement. "Seems there's loyalty even among the malign. You have wasted a great opportunity, Kin Zhane. On every region in this cursed plane you need to understand only one thing: the weak blooded live on their knees serving their betters."

At that moment instinct took over. My chest boiled and teeth sharpened with my fangs growing longer and carved.

"Your kind's reliance on barbarous demonic curses is sickening," she said.

She snapped a finger. I was alarmed for a second as I waited expectedly. Nothing happened, but I remained cautious.

"Maybe you should snap agai--"

I froze as the breeze began to reek. A furry primate-like beast appeared out of thin air before me. It's snout long and pointed, neck manned by shaggy fur, and limbs long and thick with muscles.

A Berserker?

Sina cleared her throat, "My great forefathers have blessed me with a Divine Trait. I will give you one last chance. Accepted your fate."

I stood my ground. The Berserker's blood-red lower didn't make me falter. "There's much truth to your words as your people's delusional orthodox."

She scowled and through gritted teeth commanded, "Slowly tear his limbs."

The beast grunted. It charged towards me. I didn't have a single second to react. I was tackled and pinned down by broad, hairy hands. It lowered its snout and growled.

"Wait?" interrupted Sina. "Perhaps wrenching his heart will do"--a chorus of laughter followed--"or mangling your body? Then we can parade it before El."

I cursed under my breath as I kicked and struggled to free myself. The beast held tighter and sank claws down my flesh.

"What? Out of your wits, juvy?"

I puffed and bored my eyes at the beast. My chest was inflamed, breathe ashy. I had fought my instincts the whole day. I fear to stray away from the middle path.

But currently it was uncontrollable. My essence begged I give in.

I did.

My growl rumbled the ground and my breath became flame. I incinerated the beast. First scotching its lavish mane then its body. It moaned as flame engulfed it, let go and collapsed beside me.

I stood up. Panting and disoriented.

"You are a moth flying to pillars of flames," she spat.

"I don't care, this is my duty. If there's a chance, regardless how small it may be, I'll take it." I staggered out the yard, breathes shallow gasps, then limped until I couldn't smell burnt flesh.

By now I used the thin surrounding trees as support. I didn't know where I was. Everything was a whirlwind of sensory nonsense. With each step, I grew weak until I succumbed and fainted. Slumber was welcomed, even though I feared it would be my last.

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