All Comments on 'Not Passing Go! Ch. 04'

to clean up the forest, TK U MLJ LV NV

And so they sailed off into the sunset to live happily ever after? No?

"Staff" Dan still seeks his old bank heist pals, and in the next episode (half-written) he goes back to school. I have three more stories in mind for this character, so I will return to him from time to time. Several other story projects on the go which are pressing more urgently.

And his "not" kids. But he has still done 10 years in jail and if I count correctly he's probably in his late forties or early fifties and still planning "black ops"? With the help of his "mates"? How is he paying for all this? And why are all of his old friends all out of work with nothing else to do but kill people for him? He's beginning to sound like a mob boss. But those guys are usually smart enough to stay out of jail. You need to wrap this up before it really gets silly.

Where's the fifth story, "Back to School"?

It's been a long wait.

Yes, episodes 5, 6 and 7 are roughly drafted and need revising. The problem is that I am stuck finding a solution to the final chapter, because chapter 5 look me off on a tangent and away from the conclusion I had originally envisaged. While Chapter 5 gave me an opportunity to develop the character of the twins, Dan developed a real liking for the daughter of his old adversary, which brought into question his motives and even continuing his revenge. He decides to settle for what he has. Agnes senses this change and confronts him but they are still stuck in limbo. Dan discovers in Chapter 6 an old girlfriend and a daughter he didn't know about, which brings about adjustments in the relationships of his enlarged family, but still leaving unresolved the impasse between Dan and the cute but dumb one. Agnes comes back strongly into the picture, revealing the story of how the twins came to be, but before they can adjust as a couple or blow up, Dan's abandoned search for revenge comes full circle and bites him in the arse. Chapters 5 and 6 are complete, 7 drafted mostly in bullet points and the final Chapter 8 has Dan captive and alone awaiting his fate and here is where I am stuck. Having been away from the story for 8 months, I will read through it all and see if I can find solutions and get these remaining chapters resolved. My apologies for the delay but I have been working on other projects in the meantime.

Reading this quite some time after being published I have to say the only weak spot is the potential acceptance of non-biological children. That goes against the biological imperative and doesn't work, not even as fiction.