All Comments on 'The Community'

So to recap she lied to him, plotted against him, only backed down when she saw he was upset? And he still stayed with the slut?

Cucks like him deserve to be cheated on

Finished reading and i’m sad to say that it didn't get better.

Hidden cameras, hidden microphones…ILLEGAL! An invasion of privacy that could go sooooo wrong. What if one or both of the kids got undressed in the bedroom. Do you even realize how disgusting THAT IS? He was pissed about anal sex but obviously, his disgust didnt factor in to him breaking the law.

There is a reason recording devices are not allowed.

Earlier tou said Cheryl didnt do anal sex because of a bad experience then you said she wanted to give Alan her last virginity. Which is it?

Then the whole getting Alan so horny he couldnt think straight….really? You think guys are like this? That we’ll get so turned on we’ll fuck anything that gices us attention?

What about the poor people who bought the house?

Really well written from beginning to end, but some plot gaps prevent me from giving it a perfect score. While I really enjoyed you getting the husband engaged in the deception early, you then wasted our time drawing the story out just for the sake of making the story longer. (I’m usually complaining of the opposite on this site.) Once he had the drugging evidence (twice) and eavesdropping conversation from Bob and Sheila’s, any loving husband would have put a stop to it and confronted his wife with their true plan. Final point; you have your wife being drugged by an unknown substance and you don’t bag and tag, then go to the authorities? What the hell? 4*

Pretty well written, with only minor errors scattered about. The story line, though not that common, is similar to other stories on the site. Character development was fine, though some were cardboard cut outs.

@Whackdoodle Reasonable expectation of privacy is the keyword here. Bedroom and bath is a no-go but the rest is okay, depending where you live. The most important conversation bits where caught outside of those rooms. I do know enough people wo have a recording device pointed to their main entrance or pointed to their back entrance to the garden or whatever. Other than that, why did he prolong this shit. After he saw that is wife was drugged I would have called the police. Wine glass as evidence and a blood sample would have been enough even if the country you live in doesnt allow the recordings in court. What his wife did was also a matter he should have confronted long before the end. He knew about the plan of Cheryl getting him worked up before the barbecue but he didnt confront her there and then? Strike one was her agreeing with the plan and strike two was her doing it. If my partner would have done that I would have talked with her right after pulling that shit. To be honest, I would have confronted the issue long before with all the information he had. Its one thing to listen to bullshit from others but going along with it is intentionally malicious. 3*

@Whackdoodle, do you even read the stories before spouting your purile nonsense?

Re hidden cameras - since they were installed in the MC's own house - they were not illegal. Ill hold my hands up to the voice recorder in the games console being illegal but since it was AUDIO ONLY and MC established the games console was kept in the living room there was NO chance of any footage of kids getting undressed. Yes I said that Cheryl didnt want to do anal but she was persuaded by Sheila that it would be something that would interest him. This story is all about the seduction/pesuasion/corruption of an innocent. And to your final point yes there are some guys that think with their dicks all the time. but the plan was to get Alan wound up and then drug him to drop his inhibitions. The combination was meant to be his downfall.

@twentyseven - the poor people that bought the house were a couple of gay men, so unlikely to be interesting to Jeremy for recruitment.

I got as far as the top half of page 2, where Alan was upset that his wife talked with Sheila about their sex life. A clue for everyone: EVERY woman, married or single. talks to other women about sex, and their sex lives. I spent too much time working in a hospital, working around nurses, not to know this. If Alan got mad, he has no clue about women in the first place.

And all men talk about sex; any male ought to understand that. Why should any man not figure out that women talk about it, too?

I kinda liked the story, but the “community” drugged and nearly raped them both and all they do is move away? At a minimum go to the authorities and buy them some jail time. Or go nuclear and burn down all the houses. Either way, don’t let the predators get away unscathed.

Solid story. A few very noticeable editing issues knocked it down a ⭐ for my tastes.

Refreshing to see the wife who was being worked over by the neighbors actually be opposed to the plans all on her own.

My only slight issue with the story is that until we saw what Cheryl had written in her letter there was never any indication that she was uncomfortable in the slightest with what she was being groomed for. All her actions and words up to that point seemed to indicate she was fully onboard with what she knew about up til then.

I get why the husband didn't want to tip his hand about what he learned from his surveillance. Why did he never question her about the butt plug? There were at least 3 instances where she didn't really attempt to hide it and he clearly saw it yet he never said anything. Early in the story he said Cheryl was opposed to anal due to a bad experience with a previous boyfriend. Yet, when she was talking about it later in the story she said she had always heard it was painful and dirty. More consistency with details from beginning to end would help the flow of the story.

Did he just let people he knows drugging women? Aso what Demosthenes said.

So . . . he has hard evidence of them drugging his wife, which even if the video is not admissible per se (IANAL) could at least lead to a police investigation, and he sits on it? Doesn't even show it to his wife to get her to convince her to disengage with the neighbors and move?

This was Ok but Jeremy and his cabal needed punishment. Alan should have gotten law enforcement involved. Drugging Cheryl and conspiracy would have resulted in some serious jail time. Jeremy wouldn't have been the "alpha" there, Bubba would be. If law enforcement wouldn't help, then a crowbar on a dark night would be plan B.

No consequences for people who drug and rape their neighbors?!? Your MC is a shit person!!! I got my wife away safe, to hell with anyone else?!?

The right thing to do is kill everyone involved, so that the children will be safe, not raised by perverts. The absolute minimum is to get everyone arrested, and publicize their crimes. Again, to keep them away from children and any future victims.

If you have the ability to stop Evil, and choose not to, then you’re evil also!!!

ZK

Surprisingly a good story. However l do not understand why Alan let things run so long. He was recording everything being said and done and could’ve shown it all to his wife so much sooner.

As soon as Cheryl found out what was going on out of their own mouths plus seeing the drugging and seeing the Jeremy dynamic it would’ve been all over. Who the fuck would think all this was now ok, certainly not Cheryl that’s for sure.

But we had to have this stupid drawn out process to pad out the story.

Alan put so much at risk when all the time he held the cards and could’ve saved his marriage at any time.

That said, l still enjoyed the tale even as drawn out as it was and rank it 4/5.

You lost a plot for the plot fail as outlined above.

@ReedRichardsIsUseless:

No, not everyone talks to others about their sexlife, and certainly not at work! That’s a fast train to getting fired by HR.

Decent men don’t talk about their wives. They DON’T want other men thinking about her that way.

As for women, sure, young slutty club girls compare notes and swap stories. So do bitter, alcoholic, divorcées. However, good wives DON’T talk about their husbands that way with ANYONE, even their friends.

ZK

Why given the info He had would he go along with the Saturday night initiation scheme. Answer so you could write four more pages?

Sorry this is literally nothing but a plagarized version of 37 other stories (at least) with the same set up, same plot, same phone recording and those others were laughably bad. Im glad I stopped once it was CLEAR what this was and honestly by the end of page one, it seemed it was going exactly where it looked. I made it part way through page 2, laughed and walked away.

Wasnt wasting my life on 7 pages of been there done that.

I liked the story. Especially since they got out of it unscathed. But, I can't imagine why he would have waited until after the party to confront her. The discussion they had on Sunday could have been done before the fake tax audit thing. He should have confronted/asked her about the butt plug since it was pretty obvious. Once he knew of the full plan to get Cheryl pregnant by Jeremy he should have shown her the evidence.

Thanks for the story. Please keep writing.

Great story, 5-stars. I did notice some editing issues and spelling errors but sense I read North American English and you write UK English I don't want to knock down the score for that. I don't know English law but in the U.S recordings made in public places have no expectation of privacy and the same if it is in your own home from a home security system. The recordings from the game console would be illegal and unusable by the authorities. But the rest of the information in the recordings could be taken to the cops for the D.A to prosecute the whole bunch.

Counseling is also a great story that I gave 4-stars to, so I may have given you a knock because of spelling or editing issues. Maybe I should re-examine that and bump it up to 5. Will be looking forward to your next story.

Such a wimp out! No doubt I ended up just not liking this story! He allowed the cabal to go Scott free to do this to others in future?? Despite having all available evidence?? How disgusting can one get? Post master ur writing sucks!!!

Yes, the waiting thing is a puzzler. It does, indeed, seem that LW authors delay taking action in order to draw the story out, heighten tension, etc., etc.. However, there is one thing that ALL readers MUST agree with and that is that ONLY the husband can know when the proper time to act arrives. Makes us uncomfortable? Okay. Wouldn't do it that way ourselves? That's as may be, but it is the hubby that will pay the price if a mistake is made: therefore, he gets to make the call. All readers that freak out at a wife taking marital directions from a stranger and then insist that the hubby take direction from them are myopic hypocrites with little or no life experience. If you are coming here for that life experience, then keep your mouth shut and pay attention.

LWlurker

I liked the gay purchasers at the end. We’ll done. 5/5

Yep. Time to call the police. He might also consider the possibility she's too stupid to have kids with.

Good story!

4

I mostly enjoyed the story, but I didn't like that they basically condoned the drugging and sexual assault of people. Sure, they got away, but they left the viper with it's fangs.

Good story. As I was reading it I thought: 1. going on too long, and 2. It's time he stepped in to stop it.

I carried on though, and it was resolved quite neatly.

Still think it was too long though. Could have been a 5.

FAN-TAS-TIC story!!!!!!!!!!

Really well written!!! Congratulations!!

...I was expecting a kind of punishment to that group though...

Needed some payback on Jeremy, though a good, solid story the end felt anti-climactic.

Anony, 16th comment: tell us that you know nothing about women without saying you know nothing about women.

Good story.

One thing though, Alan should have warned the gay buyers what kind of neighborhood they are in. Just to give them heads up. But I do think that Jeremy isn't keen on impregnating the gay "wife" of the two. Another thing, they should also give the police heads up on Jeremy drugging potential victims of his cult.

"I knew I had crossed the line in spying on her" what nonsense! He should have told her where his limit was as soon as he had overheard their conversation and everything would have been clear.

I can't understand one thing, how stupid do some authors think women are? She thinks she has to take everything on herself because men want it that way? When does this author live? A woman today would have read Sheila the riot act and blown her ass off if she'd given her advice like that!

And why didn't the two make the varieties of the other public? Finally he can prove that they used illegal drugs!

A good story overall, but the ending felt rather lacklustre. Hubby has all the info to really fuck over some of the people who tried to mess up his marriage, but just does nothing? Zero reason not to go to the cops with the home footage of his wife being drugged.

I gave it a 5 despite the spelling mistakes. It would have been nice to have a more conclusive ending, several loose threads that need to be tied off as it were.

Other than that really quite good.

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

The story was a really good read. While to me it was too long to fully enjoy in one setting. I prefer 1 to 3 pages at a time because I am a slow reader and can get bored when reading a lot, so my mind tends to wander, and I lose some of the story by just scanning sections.

This was one of those too long stories, so my comments may be broken or discombobulated.

First the story was well written and flowed well. I enjoyed the outreach to the previous owner and how it changed their fate. While not intricate to the tale it was a good segway to gather information that could be. Tying it to the drugging and potential to why the previous owners had problems. Then their continued friendship was a nice touch.

The ability to have good sex scenes as portion of the story keeps us perverts interested and moving forward with reading. Another good touch. However, the most import aspect of the story was how true it can be. Slowly bending a person to see things a little different at a time work well for a group or person to adjust another’s behavior. The addition of small amounts of drug to ease the influence is how many find themselves with issues they never would have had otherwise.

The use of all the things done in this story made the tale so much more than just another read. It made for a believable tale with a unique ending. I like the way you took the story. Thanks for your writing. It earned the ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ I gave.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

I would have turned the video over to the cops and had Sheila arrested. Then I would make sure the cops knew that Jeremy was a drug dealer.

Other than destroying Jeremy as the "dom" (lower case d used on purpose because he was a predator not a Dom) of the group. It was good.

I'm not sure Grammarly would have missed all the errors I spotted, but who knows with that....

As an alternative there is languagetool.org and hemmingway.org. Another tip, don't let your paragraphs get too long, 3 or 4 sentences is about right, definitely not 3/4 of a page. A wall of text is just off putting.

i agree with the others..Jeremy and his minions needed to suffer some pain...

maybe a sequel about the new gay owners being FBI agents? lol

While it's a very good story, I believe I have read one very similar to it...

5 stars

Thanks

I gave it a four * because I enjoyed it. Is it unusual that six scumbags could all be living so close together? It's unlikely but not impossible. All's well that ends well. LP

in a small 4 property gated community about an hour's drive from my shop. sounds like a small cult or a family compound

he lost her on page 2 if he ever actually ever had her to begin with. a wife that lies to her husband and tells the truth to a stranger and actually ok with drugging him yeah shes gone. makes me wonder if she ever had parents if so they were really bad parents. never learning about stranger danger or the mother daughter talk before the wedding. the wife seems like she was born yesterday

Great story! Would have loved to read about more justice for Jeremy and his cohorts though. They deserved punishment. Still a very good and thoroughly entertaining read. Thank- you for it!

I couldn't believe that she would do that to me. Get me all worked up and use me like that and leave me high and dry. She had never done anything like that before and I was hurt, confused, and angry. but he knew this was going to happen via the listening devices thats a very huge hole so at this point i gotta assume this guy knows nothing. another cardboard cutout u need to flesh out ur characters and im thinking maybe ur from the UK which means u should be writing a taking place in the UK. write what u know

well hopefully the new owners will be smarter than the last 2 or maybe leave a note or some type of follow through. when good ppl do nothing evil wins

Well played !

A definite 5 !

EastCoaster

One of the best I have read. Thank you.

Great pacing and a new angle on the old story. Liked that you kept your protagonist true to himself (I was worried on an about-face at the last minute)

Very good story. Your ending was ok and good, the only thing that could have made it better was that they could have burned the members of the cabal but then again the videos and tapes wouldn't be admissible in court. 5 stars

Good, well written story. The major plot hole for me was how was Jeremy the leader. He either had to have some way to blackmail everyone else to participate or have been so charismatic to reign over them. I saw neither explained here.

Very good beginning of story then after some inconsistencies and situations/behavior that I have difficulties to understand, the resolution of the problem seemed weak to me.

At the beginning of the story, I felt like I was invited to a high quality restaurant, for a meal prepared by a chef.

The starter was succulent and full of promise.

The dish was of good quality but unremarkable not allowing it to be highlighted.

The dessert turned out to be a little disappointing.

In the end, while I enjoyed the outcome (love won out on lust and sex), the resolution itself seemed too easy.

Great story well constructed and enjoyable to read. Your last couple of chapters were a little too short, otherwise everything was excellent

Very well written and told!

Nice job but the ending did not resonate with me. Why weren't the cops involved since he had legally obtained videos of his wife being drugged at home? That would have helped insure that Sheila, Jeremy et al didn't do this again and to another couple? They did not get what they deserved.

4. Enjoyable and well written with a thankfully happy ending. The only real problem I have with the story is like other similar stories of people trying to "trap" someone the person being trapped willingly walks into it rather then shutting it down once they hear about it. Too many variables I would think dealing with known predators.

Really entertaining.

Ed

4 stars because it is a happy ending. No 5 stars because the evil criminals (and yes they commit rape by drugging people) were not punished in absolutely any way.

... and before you say it (OK, OK, you already sait it in pre-word to the sequel - In didn't yet read the sequel though) - I wasn't expecting the husband to deal out the retribution alone or at that time. BUT... he had access to his technical expertise AND a highly trained armed services retiree with far more motivation for revenge than him. I can't possibly believe they couldn't have caused a major pain together.

Why didn't he just burn down the neighbors house as soon as he realised what was happening. That's what I would have done.

Jeremy and crew need to pay.

I have read this story before from a different author. Are you reposting this? It was well before 2022

Haha great! 5

I thought it was a very good story that would have been great with some justifiable retribution. I still gave it a *5.

Good tale with interesting details, great denouement!

I did like this tale. The end was not how I would have wanted, but it isn't my story.

It was well told but they should have closed on the sale and then told the gay guys about their new neighbors! It would have been fun to see them blow up the supposed cult in some clever fashion.

I'm a little surprised the grammar was off in several spots but I've never used grammarly. Overall, a good story.

How did this happen, or even get past the lw police. We have a main character who is not an idiot. Must be harbinger of the apocalypse. Vey hard to grasp.

That is a very sharp , clearly defined story line . For those qho say it can't happen here, I beg to differ. I know that there is a man in CO who has been building a similar community structure to what is described here. The difference rhat he is a Pilygamist , not a Swinger . The difference in function is that all males over the age of 13 are under contract to work a minimum of 70 hours per week on projects assifned by the landiwner . They do not have time or resources to build housing for their families . It is impossible for them to generate an income to provide food, water or energy . In the company store business model at this property , default on debt is punished by banishment . In short , male familiy members are culled from the herd . When a prospective family is considered for inclusion , one of the conditions forcapproaval of residency is that Lwgal Guardianship of female minor children must be ceded to the owner . The guest quarters used during the evaluation process is wired for audio and video recording . People are living in the film 1984.

Re: OralHungry4U’s post: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

Well told story, with a great ending.

They had video of Sheila drugging Cheryl, and of the whole cult plotting to drug Alan. Criminals act on both state and federal levels. Somebody needed to be perpwalked out of their house.

Great story. The MC did everything right. Right on done the line. Glad they escaped. Felt bad dor Stephanie and Gerald. Glad they reconciled. Jeremy and Beth and Sheila are monsters. The dlow "drip" was insidious. The truth of their cult was scary. My only beef is that why did Sheila not get charged with attempted rape by Cheryl and Alan? They have all the evidence dead to rights. It is a slam dunk, though the listening device information in the console is not admissible. But the drugging is a criminal act. And Sheila talked about what she planned to do that Friday night to Cheryl, except she was saved by his brilliant IRS audit hoax. Personally as soon I saw her drink was drugged the first time, I woukd have confronted my wife and shown what was happening. He had some of the conversations by then. Not all the pieces. But he had enough to know they were in danger. Cheryl is a true loving wife who got turned around and deceived and drugged. She would have supported them fleeing. Or going to the police. Drugs last in the system for days. As soon as Cheryl was drugged. Take her to get tested and get out of there. Why risk it? Still made for a taut emotional thriller. Just I would have been too cowardly to wait. If instead of being terrified and supportive, Cheryl prevaricated or hesitated, them would know that she wants something else, but an attempted rape and being drugged is no small thing. Sheila at the very least would have been hit with a felony with the nonconsensual drugging. Doubt the rest would have been hit with charges, but would have made for a heck of a newspaper story! Would have brought the cult into the light.

Nice but seems they should have don't a way to inform the police. This isn't a simple case of seduction... they're drugging people without their knowledge.

Otherwise great tale. Thanks

Plenty of angst but with a happy ending. Agree should have included retribution for the cult members.

Don’t know why they felt they had to escape. A 12 gauge in Jeremy’s crotch would have sufficed to convince him of the error of his ways. Part two is even better though.

Why is it necessary to make the husband do all the "work" in keeping his wife faithful? It's fucking ridiculous.

Good read. Found the MC actions frustrating at times. He had full knowledge but refused to derail the train putting his marriage and emotional life at risk for no reason. He “ needed more information “. Such a LW trope. WHY would you go to the party ??? I know we need a story but he just tied this whole situation in knots when he could have easily ended all of it with his marriage intact and further unthreatened.

Wow! A Loving Wives story where the wife loves the husband so much that she does not want to share him.

Sadly, too many people are too easily convinced that their lives are less than they think they are, that their spouse can’t possibly be completely happy with them, if their lives are not chock full of sexual partners, anal sex is not offered, etc.

By then, they are too insecure and intimidated to actually ask their partner if their needs are being fulfilled and what else they might enjoy. Somebody else starts pulling the strings. And these people were masters at controlling the situation.

Well done!

Interesting take on the swinger-recruitment theme, but probably better-handled than most.

Five stars from here on Part 1... on to Part 2 to see what it holds...

If I was Cheryl, I would see it as almost unforgivable that my husband witnessed me get drugged, and a 2nd attempted drugging, and not say a single thing to me about it until after all was said and done.

A brilliant little story that was sound entertainment. The seducer was clever, trying to get the wife she was inadequate in order to manipulate her. Unfortunately most people believe others think tee way they think. We don't, and that is why the evil plot failed. Definitely a 5 for the clever plot, but characters, writing style etc. sealed the deal.

On of the commentators said the wife loved him so much she did not want to share her husband. Balderdash! That is not love but selfish possessiveness. The love was her willingness to unselfishly do whatever she could for here true love.

Careful readers will note:

"The bedroom?" she asked her eyes going wide. "Then you saw..." She blushed scarlet.

"I saw my beautiful wife doing something selfless thinking that it would make our love stronger.

High intensity thriller. I thought that the plotting and pacing were very good throughout. Good use of the dark underbelly literary trope and the common swinger/cult type situation in LW.

————

Of particular note, I enjoyed there being both a reconciliation and a thwarting of evil plans. The swinging crew had their playbook down lock, stock, and barrel and a military wife is particularly prone to loneliness and stress. Good for Gerald and Stephanie.

Another outstanding story deserving of a far better score, but what can you expect when you publish a story in this LW viper’s nest, where they regularly eat their own.

I have a mind to write a story set in Newcastle upon Tyne about a centuries old family. I would have them spout constant US idioms and use US spelling. How long do you suppose it would be before UK readers came after me with pitchforks and torches!

Your Caleb stories began particularly peppered with UK idioms and spelling, but eventually you shed most, but not all, of your Brit-speak. Not so much here.

I taught British Lit for decades, have probably read more of it than 90% of UK citizens and watch BritBox and BBC America regularly.

Since I’m 100% Irish American with family killed in “the troubles” I refuse to call myself an Anglophile - but others have.

Sorry but the cunt wife cheated on her innocent husband. Plus the wife if she truly loved her husband would have told the other bitch who was talking shit about her husband to show some respect and leave the house. Also the video shows the wife getting drugged,and even though there is no blood evidence,the local police can still turn up the heat on the swinging assholes,and make them sweat. Just another cuck b.s. story!

Dislike

Had to inform on community so other innocent people didn't get drugged!!!!

Many ways to do it

This is wonderfully creepy. A cult like Judeo-Christianity, Apple products, or the Democrats.

Great buildup of tension: the discovery of something off, careful monitoring, and execution of the plan! Very fun read!

And can everyone give the characters a break? A wife loves how hard her husband work that she feels she’s not doing enough. So she gets groomed by an experienced woman with nefarious intent, who is skilled in manipulation. Then she is drugged. MC isn’t sure whether Cheryl has bought in and is loyal. He interrupts the drugging sessions and gives Cheryl words of affirmation frequently. He’s paranoid because someone’s out to get him!

I agree with Rapierwit; this story should be rated higher, and I enjoyed it very much much. *****

So, they didn't get any payback on Jeremy and his crew, leaving them to potentially hurt others? Ughhh!

Awfully long for as little came out of it

Good read!