How Christy Found Christmas Again

"I suppose we could. I had a good time too."

"This weekend is Halloween. Want to dress up and go trick or treating?"

Christy laughed.

"I don't think too many people would like adults knocking on their door asking for candy."

Brian grinned.

"Yeah, you're probably right. I know of an Italian place that makes really great food. Do you like Italian?"

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That night when she got ready for bed, Christy caught herself humming, and then realized why. She felt like she'd felt on the first date she'd ever had. That guy wasn't much and that was the only time he'd asked her out, but it was the thrill of knowing a guy wanted to be with her. Brian had asked her to dinner again, and that must mean he liked her a little. Being liked felt good.

When Brian pulled back the blankets on his bed and crawled in, he was smiling. Christy had been easier to talk with for some reason. He didn't know if he was more comfortable with her, or if she was more comfortable with him, but he didn't really care. It was enough to see her smile at his stupid stories about work and to counter with one or two of her own. It was even better when he felt her slip her arm in his. That feeling was one he'd forgotten and it had made him tingle all over. He fell asleep thinking about that feeling and wanting it to keep happening.

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The next Saturday afternoon, Christy took a shower and then tried to decide what to wear when Brian took her out. The time before, she'd just worn a nice pair of pants and a blouse. As she moved the hangers aside to find a different blouse, she saw the black dress. It was probably too dressy for just dinner at a restaurant. Very few women wore dresses anymore, but Christy decided she felt like dressing up a little. The dress bared her shoulders and was pretty short, but it had always made her feel feminine. She found a bra that the dress would cover and a pair of black stockings she hadn't worn in ages. By five thirty, she was dressed and putting on her makeup. As six on the dot, her doorbell rang.

When she opened the door, Brian just stood there with his mouth hanging open. Christy frowned and asked if she was overdressed. Brian smiled then.

"No, not from where I'm standing. You're absolutely beautiful."

Christy felt herself blushing.

"I think you need to have your eyes checked."

"No, you really are beautiful. Every guy in the place will be looking at you."

"You're sure this isn't too much? I can change."

"Don't you dare change. It's going to be fun having every man in the place jealous of me."

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Brian felt proud when Christy took his arm on the way from his car to the restaurant, and he couldn't stop grinning at Christy while they ate. Christy was sure she blushed several times, but it felt so wonderful to know Brian was looking and liked what he saw. Before she knew it, they'd finished their meal and were walking arm-in-arm back to his car. Christy felt warm and contented inside, and wished it would take longer for Brian to take her home. She wanted to keep feeling that way.

Brian wished the trip to Christy's home was longer too. Once there, he knew he'd walk her to her door, and after Christy thanked him for dinner, she'd go inside and he'd go back to his car. Leaving her would be painful.

As they stood on her doorstep, he touched her on the shoulder and tried to sound casual.

"I had a great time tonight, Christy. Want to have dinner again next Saturday?"

To Christy, his voice sounded almost like a plea. She unconsciously put her hand on his arm.

"I'd like that a lot."

Brian thought for a second to figure out if it was the right thing to do or not, then put his arms around her and gently pulled her closer. To his surprise, Christy put her arms around his neck and pressed her body into his. He kissed her then, and though the kiss lasted only for a couple seconds, it sent a wave of tingles down Brian's spine. He eased gently away and looked into Christy's eyes.

"Christy, I've wanted to do that all night long."

Christy surprised herself by saying, "Me too", and then rising on her tiptoes and kissing Brian. This kiss lasted longer, and when she pulled away, Christy was awash with a warmth she hadn't felt for almost a year.

Brian was reluctant to let her go, but did so gently.

"I guess I'll pick you up at the same time next Saturday then."

"I'll be ready."

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Through the first three weeks of November, each Saturday night would find Brian and Christy having dinner together. Each Saturday night would end with a kiss on her doorstep. Christy sometimes wondered why Brian didn't press her for more than just a kiss, but she was still happy. She went to bed on those Saturday nights feeling so happy she was sometimes ashamed of herself. It was almost agony waiting out the week until the next Saturday, but when that day came, it was like she was floating through the air without touching the ground at all.

It was the Saturday before Thanksgiving that Christy invited Brian to her house for Thanksgiving dinner. He'd been a little reluctant, saying she shouldn't go to all that trouble for just him, but he'd finally accepted. Christy started the turkey roasting at six in the morning, and by the time Brian rang her bell, she was dressed in another dress and heels, and had everything ready.

Brian kept complimenting her on everything, and had a second helping of most of the dishes. When she brought out the pumpkin pie she'd baked the night before, he groaned, rubbed his stomach, and then smiled and said he'd have a piece. Afterward, they'd watched a movie on TV. At about ten, Brian kissed her goodbye and left. Christy hummed to herself as she put everything away and started her dishwasher.

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As Christmas approached, Brian and Christy had dinner together every Saturday night, and they had coffee at her house afterward. Sometimes they watched a movie, sometimes they just talked. Both were hesitant about talking about what the future might hold. Christy was ready for there to be more, and so was Brian, but neither could bring themselves to bring up the subject. Neither could tell the other the reasons either, for fear of spoiling what they had.

Right after Thanksgiving, Christy had bought Brian a Christmas present. It was just a sweater from her department store, but as the weather cooled off, he'd started wearing sweaters when they went out. She wanted to give it to him on Christmas Eve, and said she'd fix dinner for them at her house.

The Sunday before Christmas, Christy wrapped the package and then realized she couldn't just lay it on the couch. It needed to be under a Christmas tree. She found the boxes with the tree, lights and ornaments where Kathy had put them. By that night, the tree stood in her living room with the lights twinkling and the glass ornaments hanging from the branches.

She felt a little twinge of sadness when she remembered the Christmas Eve before, but shook it off. This Christmas Eve would be different because Brian would be there. They'd have dinner, then she'd pour them both a glass of eggnog and give Brian his gift.

Christy had their Christmas Eve dinner ready and was changing clothes when her cell phone rang. A familiar sense of fear washed over her when she saw the call was from Brian.

"Christy, I'm going to be about an hour late. I'm so sorry, but it can't be helped. I have to inspect a building on the other side of town. If I don't get it done, the contractor will lose his early completion bonus. I'll be there by seven, maybe earlier if there aren't any problems with the job."

Christy numbly said she'd be waiting, hung up the phone, and then felt the tears streaming down her cheeks. It couldn't be, but it was. It was like watching a movie she'd seen a hundred times. She knew how it would end. Seven o'clock would come and Brian wouldn't be there. Eight o'clock would come and she'd be frantic with worry and call him but get no answer. At ten o'clock...she couldn't bear to think about that, but the memory of last Christmas Eve kept bursting through all the barricades she tried to build in her mind.

In desperation, she tried to rationalize her thoughts. No, it couldn't possibly happen again. The police had told her the other driver had suffered a heart attack and lost control of his car. That was the reason for the accident. Nobody did anything wrong or illegal. It was just a coincidence Ted happened to be on the same street at the same time. How many times could that possibly happen? Christy's mind screamed at her that even if it didn't, something else would and she'd be alone again.

Christy cried until the smoke alarm in the hall began its shrill, warbling scream. She wiped the tears away, went into the kitchen and saw smoke coming from the oven. She started to cry again when she opened the door. The ham with it's topping of pineapple rings was black. She quickly shut off the oven and then opened a kitchen window. With a cutting board, she fanned enough of the smoke out that window to silence the smoke alarm, then went back to the stove.

The ham wasn't completely burned, but it wouldn't taste very good. The sweet potatoes weren't any better. The butter and brown sugar she'd covered them with was black and crusty. The green beans on the burner seemed OK although most of the water had evaporated. Christy sobbed as she fell into a chair at her kitchen table. Yes, it was happening all over again and there was nothing she could do about it.

She was still crying when her doorbell rang. Christy walked slowly to the door, knowing what awaited her. She was so certain she didn't bother to look through the peephole. She just took a deep breath to prepare herself.

Brian was smiling when she opened the door, but frowned when Christy shrieked and threw her arms around his neck.

"Christy, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, everything's wonderful."

"Then why are you crying?"

"Because I was sad, but now because I'm happy. Come inside. I need to explain why."

Christy sat on her couch and patted the cushion beside her. After wiping her eyes with her hand, she put her hand over Brian's.

"I was married once, Brian. I never told you that because at first I was still sad, and after that, I thought it might chase you away."

Brian smiled.

"I already know you were married."

"How. Did I say something?"

"No. Your ring finger has a shiny spot from wearing rings. It's almost gone now, but when we first met, I saw it and knew. If you'd told me it wouldn't have made any difference. I figured you'd tell me you were divorced when you were ready."

"I'm not divorced, Brian. Last year, on Christmas Eve, my husband had to go back to his job. He was...there was a car accident."

Brian put his arm around Christy.

"Ah...I see. You thought the same thing was happening tonight?"

"Yes. I just knew it was."

Brian pulled her closer and kissed her on the forehead.

"Well, it didn't, now did it? I'm here like I promised and ready for one of your fantastic dinners."

Christy began to cry again.

"I screwed that up because I was so worried. The ham is burned and so are the sweet potatoes. I don't have anything for dinner."

Brian lifted Christy's chin.

"Christy, I didn't come here for dinner. I came her to be with you, and to give you this."

Christy caught her breath when she saw the small box. She opened it and gasped. It was an engagement ring.

Brian stroked Christy's wet cheek with his fingertip.

"I love you Christy. We can exchange it for a different one if you want, well, that's assuming you'll say you'll marry me."

Christy sniffed.

"I don't know. I think I love you too, but it hasn't been long since..."

Brian held up his hand.

"I know what you're thinking. I have one of those shiny spots on my ring finger too. Judy was my life until last November. The doctor said it was a brain aneurysm, that it was quick, and that she didn't feel any pain. That didn't make it any easier. It wasn't until that day you ran into my cart I believed there might be someone else for me.

"It took me a while to decide I loved you, and it was for the same reason. Loving another woman didn't seem right. I don't want you to tell me yes or no tonight. It took me this long to decide. I should let you have some time too."

Christy looked at the diamond glittering in its gold setting in the box. Kathy had said Christy should do what felt right to her when it felt right to her. Did this feel right? She looked at Brian. He smiled then, and Christy knew.

"My sister told me I shouldn't be worried about anything except what felt right for me. I didn't really understand what she meant until now."

Christy held out her left hand.

"Please put it on my finger and then kiss me before I start to cry again."

After Brian had carved all the burned parts off the ham, there was enough for them both, and he praised the sweet potatoes. Once they finished eating, Christy cleared the table and came back from the kitchen with two glasses of eggnog.

Brian held his glass up.

"Tonight, the woman I love said she'll marry me. That deserves a toast."

Christy clinked her glass with his and then they both sipped the creamy drink. She put down her glass then.

"I bought you a Christmas present too. It's not nearly as good as what you got me though."

Christy sat down beside Brian on the couch and handed him the package. Brian opened the package and held up the sweater.

"Christy, it's a great sweater, but it's not be best gift I got tonight. That gift was you. I could have lived without the sweater. I'm not sure I could live without you."

He carefully folded the sweater and put it back in the box, then took Christy in his arms and kissed her. When he broke the kiss, Christy stroked his face.

"For a long time, I didn't think I could feel like this again, but I do. There is one thing missing, though."

Brian smiled.

"What would that be?"

"I miss feeling like a desirable woman. Take me to bed and make love to me."

When Christy stopped panting, she nestled her face against his cheek. Her whisper made chills run down Brian's back.

"Promise me we'll do this every day."

Brian chuckled.

"I don't think that's going to be a problem. I might have to start taking vitamins, but it won't be a problem at all."

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Kathy was overjoyed by the news that Christy had found a man. She and Christy set about planning the wedding. On the first of May, Christy Hastings became Christy Ward, and after kissing Brian, walked back down the aisle of the church on Brian's arm with a grin on her face. Kathy understood that grin. It was the same grin she wore that day, a grin for a sister who had been taken from the depths of sadness to the peak of happiness.

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Brian and Christy celebrated their fifth Christmas Eve last year with the same tradition. They did have to wait a little later than on the Christmas Eves before. Little Todd is four now and understands what Christmas is all about. It was a hassle getting him into bed because he insisted he wanted to watch Santa eat the Christmas cookies he'd left beside the tree. Tiffany is only two and doesn't really understand yet so she was easy. Once they had all the presents under the tree and sat on the couch sipping eggnog, Brian smiled at Christy.

"Remember that first Christmas Eve?"

"I'll never forget that one. It changed my life. Are you thinking of a repeat?"

"Well, we've done it every year. It's sort of a tradition."

"I'm not the woman I was then. I have these stretch marks and my boobs are bigger."

Brian wiggled his eyebrows.

"I love your big boobs, and the stretch marks just remind me of what you've given me. Christy, you're a better woman than the one I married."

Christy chuckled.

"Then you'd better show me so I'll believe you."

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There are some people who say Christmas is just a commercialized holiday. Most run around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to buy everything under the sun for everybody on their special lists. That's not what Christmas is all about, and I should know. I'm what adults call "The Christmas Spirit", though to them that's just a saying. They don't think I really exist.

Little kids call me Santa until they're old enough to figure out Santa is really their parents. They really believe Santa has a list of good little girls and boys, and that if they're good, he'll bring them a present or two. For the short time they believe, they truly understand what Christmas is. It's the belief that good things happen to people because they're good people.

It's a shame people grow up to be adults and lose that innocent belief. Most adults do, though, and that's why I'm around. You never see me, but I'm there, pushing grocery carts into other grocery carts and making sure the right man is there to catch the right woman when she falls. I've been doing that for a long time now, and I'll keep doing it as long as there are Brians and Christys in the world who need a little help to find that belief again, the belief that good things can still happen to good people.